Beauty Will Surely Save the World - Lydia,Oh,Lydia! Art

Some Gifts We Made for My Mother-in Law's 80th

2011-12-04T22:33:00.004-05:00

A very young Janet, under a dome on a vintage floral plate that came from my friend Jenny's things, (given to me after she passed. I am glad I could use it in such a way). This picture is actually so adorable. Just not so clear here. It was taken by my husband's uncle, Frank Navarra, photographer.Archery pillow. Her and hubby in youth. Not the clearist pictures, but you get the idea.

Front of planner.
Inside back of planner.

Sorry I haven't posted in like-forever. I have been working so much. I can not do everything, but I always seem to try to do a lot. What, oh what , pray tell, can I give up???

Be Blessed.:)

Sorry I Haven't Been Posting Lately...

2011-08-30T19:35:00.002-04:00

Hi everyone, it's been hectic working so many jobs, so please forgive me my negligence. I've been playing tennis mom to my son and his tournaments, etc. and catching up with old friends. I was thinking of videotaping the process of trying to get my studio built in the basement. What do you think? I thought that maybe it would make me get to it sooner.

Have been going through my garage and basement, clearing out, and in other areas of the house as well. Reciting to myself "I release the old to make room for the new"events, and people coming into my life in the future. Some days are better than others.

So, my daughter wants to make throws or quilts out of Ken's clothing. His things collaged on one side, and a nice fabric on the other. I also just went through an old Christmas issue of Martha and saw a 2 sided scarf. I thought that they would make nice memory gifts for family members. What do you think? Any more ideas?

I recently made a few gifts for my mother-in-law. She turns 80 in the winter, but you'd never know it. She looks great, still plays tennis usually weekly, and is a gentle, kind individual who inspires others with her class. She always looks great. She is amazing. So, Ken's sisters wanted to have a birthday celebration earlier for her. It was at a beautiful country club on Long Island. It was pouring rain, yet still the view through the windows overlooking the gray skies and waves were beautiful. The food was out of this world great, and they did a mini roast on her. I know that Ken would've liked preparing a speech and presenting it.

Any way, we wanted to make some personal gifts that would have meaning to them. When I get a chance to put them on my computer , I will post the items, as long as the pictures come out alright. She was quite a looker in her youth, and still is today. We have a wealth of fabulous pictures from their teens in camp when they met, (my in-laws that is).

So I printed a picture of them both with bows and arrows, and made a pillow with pretty trim. I think that the colors look good for her place. The girls made a collage on a boxed canvas of them. She was Cleopatra and he was wooing her by her side.

And these adorable pictures of her when she was a little girl were just too cute. I mounted one and put a vintage flower in her hand under a dome on a vintage plate with more vintage flowers at the base. I think that it came out adorably. Alex made a vintage picture card, and I made a 'Ken do' planner with a collaged cover including hubby when he was a young boy. I also made a bookmark from a water colored paper by my girls with a baby picture on the front. She is probably holding an orange , but it looks like a tennis ball in her hand. Tennis is in the family.

So I have been doing artwork here and there, trying to get ready for a big show coming up. Is there ever enough time? And I am always trying to get work together to put into shops that want my things. Add all that to the 6 other jobs that I work, and life can get a little crazy at times. A cold came through the house on top of that, then there was preparation for Hurricane Irene which never really hit here. Just lost the power 2 times. Had to put things into the garage and shed. We do get high winds here in the mountains a lot.

And the husband (also our friend) of my dear friend Jenny who passed away 2 years ago September asked me to go through her things and to take what ever I wanted from her work/studio area. There was a wealth of beautiful items that I will use in my studio, and other lovely items. I can't believe how many things that came from me. We shared our goodies, and now I am getting some back, and loads of other lovelies. She worked for the Archives and did much research on historical pieces. I will have to do my homework on these items. Some things I will keep and others I will sell. And some artwork I will add on to, and they will in essence be collaborations between us. It is a lot, but it brings many happy memories which I am grateful to have had. I went through everything with her beautiful daughter, Emma. Emma will be helping me at Boonsborough Days, and I will be thankful for her help.

So, what do you think about posting the progress of the studio in videos? And what other ideas might you have for making memory pieces from Ken's clothing? Because he was a tennis professional, he had many t-shirts and sweeatshirts. We have been going through his things at a snail's pace so far. It is especially difficult for my children . They do not want me to go through things without them, which I would never do anyway. And they do not want to do it much at all yet. But, I think that it is time to start a little here and there. It will be cathartic. And especially, the act of making things with TLC to gift to family and friends.

Tolstoy

2011-06-09T23:13:00.004-04:00

"It is within my power either to serve God or not to serve him. Serving him, I add to my own good and the good of the whole world. Not serving him, I forfeit my own good and deprive the world of that good, which was in my power to create."

Lev Tolstoy

One Year, a New Intensive Job, & Goodbye Mr." T"

2011-06-06T22:53:00.007-04:00

So 25 May saw the one year anniversary of hubby's passing, and the 24th saw a new intensive adjunct position teaching 1 year's worth of Russian in 18 days at the university level. Not exactly the easiest thing. To complicate matters the book was not chosen by me and it is not exactly conducive to teaching the language intensively. The complementing audio program is confusing and compounds my work and the students' work.

I do enjoy teaching the class which is 10min! from my home. It is 4 days a week, 4 hours a day. The students are great, and I give them on-line youtube videos and music to watch and listen to to break up the intensity of the daily program.

I pray that the students and I do wonderful jobs, and that this leads to further work. They did not have the language and petitioned for the classes! Without my honey to cheer me on it can be a bit daunting, but if what we went through has taught me one thing, it is to plow through even a difficult situation. I hope and pray that it pays off in the end in more ways than one.

There are times that I want to cry, missing him so, and I do let the tears come. Working so many jobs is not exactly the easiest thing, but I do what I have to do. What more can anyone ask?

My very close friend's father just passed away. He was 92! We have been friends since I was 3 1/2 years old, when I moved into my new house on Long Island. I was sitting on the right side of the car when my father was about to turn right onto our new block in June, so many years ago.

There sat Jean on her big, antique, red tricycle looking at us not far from the car that was stopped at the stop sign. She said very assuredly, "I know her". Jean is 1 year older than I , and 1 year younger than my sister. If she was my best friend, we would run away from my sister, and if she was my sister's best friend, they would run away from me. Jean is very special to our family, and even my in laws loved and love her.

Her dad loved baseball and so Jean was a good little ball player, and would always be one of the team captains on our block. Growing up I practically lived at her house and so I will miss Mr. "T". I always called her Mom, Mom "T", once we were teenagers, and her dad Mr. "T". In his youth he was a striking man in a sailor suit, always kind to me, and he called me Lidja.

I hope that you are all doing well, my dear blogging friends.

Memory Eternal, my honey!

Memory Eternal, Mr. "T" !

xoxoxo

Winning Counties!!!!!..3-6,6-0,6-3

2011-05-15T17:40:00.009-04:00

My son won Counties yesterday!!!! He plays #1 singles for his HS Tennis team. He has since he was a freshman. He's now a sophmore.

The boy he played took 2 matches off him.With the 2nd match they had split sets , were 4-all, (meaning they were tied -for you non-tennis bloggers), and Serge had to retire due to a horribly cramping hand, the same hand that cramped that had lost him the 1st match with this opponent.

A match or 2 before that one, he won a thrilling 3 setter w/another school, but had fallen on his arm, injuring it. That's when he then played this opponent, losing w/his cramped hand from the injury. Then the 2nd time he played him it cramped so badly that he couldn't hold his racket, and had to retire. He felt so badly.

The opponent's coach kept cheering my son's faults/errors. This is a big NO-NO in tennis etiquette. She was loud and constant. I had complained to the coaches at the 1st match. Then at the 2nd match, Serge had had enough and complained to a teammate of the opponent who was doing the same thing at that match. The coach was right there and did the same cheering along with her student! So the coach 'corrected' her student, with a faulter in her words. "Yeah, that's not really the, uh, right thing to do, uh..."

So at this final match for the counties in boys singles, the coach was not too voiced thank goodness. And guess who the boy's coach was? HIS MOTHER!!!! So unprofessional. My son grew up with tennis, and is very self contained on the tennis court, unlike other players who show a great deal of frustration, like McEnroe used to do. That's why Mac got fined all the time.

So when Serge won, it was a very sweet victory. He dedicated it to his Dad, who passed away last year. His dad, my hubby, was a tennis pro his whole adult life. He was not a bad player himself, having been ranked internationally once, and ranked nationally, #1 in his age bracket in the Mid-Atlantic in the past ,.....He's surely smiling down from heaven.

It was really great to have Ken's good friend, Jeff , there supporting Serge. Jeff is the Tennis Director at the club where hubby taught. Hubby was Director of Junior Tennis. The program run at the club is a superb one in the area.

Next week Regionals!

Greenfest in the Park

2011-05-06T16:39:00.006-04:00

Greenfest show in the Park ,and more...

"The right side of the brain is the more creative part and therefore shows us things we may not see when we try to look at things logically."

"When we laugh through our tears , we are being given a powerful gift."

"Proverbs 17:22 tells us "A Merry heart doeth good like medicine."

"If you had chickens you wouldn't go around picking up their droppings, you would pick up the eggs -Right?"

(The Healing Power of Humor, by Allen Klein)

My wonderful friend Patty, who I've known since the mid nineties, and who I met through an article that I wrote in DOLL WORLD Magazine on the Russian-American connection with dolls, also lost her husband last year.

She just sent me 2 "book reports" totaling 18 pages of humor , positive reinforcement thoughts, and words of inspiration that she wrote from 2 books that she recently read.

I am glad that you were born, my dear friend Patricia. Her husband called her Patricia, friends call her Pat or Patti, and very good friends call her Patty with a "y". I remember the day that she wrote me and told me I could call her Patty with a "y". She makes me laugh every time I talk with her! She called me last week and left a message,"Do you know where your friend is? Call me!"

I'm from NY and she's from Staten Island. She contacted me when she read that article that I wrote. I was pregnant with my youngest who is now 15. We have been friends ever since. We had a doll club with some other women. We felted wool in my driveway with my car. We made totally different dolls, but had the same love of creating.

She now has gone back to painting watercolors, and has been getting into collage with the painting. Since I have known her, her house has always been gorgeous, with flowers asplash inside and out. She is highly focused and prolific , no matter what she does. She cannot stop creating. She joins guilds, gets her paintings into hospitals and galleries, she teaches, and she also used to teach belly dancing years ago when raising her 2 boys. She's grandmother to gorgeous and smart grandchildren, and is one of the most giving and 'generous of soul' individuals that I know. She has a love for happiness in her heart that goes beyond the average person.

The 2 things that stand out to me more than anything are her flowers and her humor. She brings flowers with her wherever she goes, whether it be in a garden bed that surrounds the entire house, her paintings,(she even painted my family in flowers when Ken died), the fresh flowers upon her dining room table, or the flowers in her heart that burst open with laughter, even in the darkest hours. And of the latter, she is no novice.

So, I celebrate my dear friend Patty with a "y", and I am ever so blessed to call her my friend. I am so thankful that she was born, as she never lets me forget that about me. Ever.

Love youPatty. xoxoxo

Lydia

PS- The pictures are random and recent: Poppy flower in our garden bed, Alex trying to take a picture with the ever elusive Serge on Easter morning, a Visual Thinking art assignment from a classmate of my daughter's at her university, made out of Saran wrap. It looks to be life size in total-this is just a portion of the piece), an Easter chick, and my nephew Jason's funny Easter poses,(he being a big prankster, another one who can't stop making people laugh).

Displaying Jewelry

2011-04-22T22:44:00.003-04:00

Check out Alex's displays @ Piece.

Palm Sunday & Pussy Willows, Poetry, my Anniversary, & the Day I was Born

2011-04-17T18:30:00.003-04:00

"He was my North, my South, My East, My West, My working week and my Sunday Rest"

A.H. Auden (from the book-About Grief)

"Poets touch things that are difficult to touch, things like the indignities of grief, and in so doing, reteach them their loveliness ." (from -About Grief,by Ron Marasco & Brian Shriff)

Poignant words do not always attest to the facts of truth. And search for truth we must.

The everyday, the simple, ordinary moments. The space between the lines.

The silence between the notes.

For it is in these simple, ordinary moments that we create the truth in our lives.

And this truth is based upon the sacred details, that once gone, make up a life.

What is held dear, this is what translates from one person to another.

From one generation to the next.

And then the poignant moments appear, as if in an instant to clarify our emotions and values

that we hold dear.

Some people never have these moments, and isn't that a shame?

Why cannot we learn to cherish the ordinary, to be satisfied with taking out the trash,

when we share chores with family, when we share roles in life at work or amongst friends?

For after all, life is in the living, and dieing is in the details of life remembered.

Are we not all an experiment? Life to each is an experiment.

What propels someone to cherish the ordinary if their life has been full of chaos, disarray, anger, lack of love?

Please tell me that you can help another in time, in life, or perhaps with just a smile

or a word to show that one person at that exact time that there is good in the world.

Seek and ye shall find. Ask, and you shall receive.

Search for truth, no matter what in all you do,

and even the simplest among us can change the world.

I'd rather go down trying, then living without the hope of any real truth.

The world would not make sense if there was no God.

And even the least among us can find hope, faith, God in the smallest details of the day.

Would that I could elicit a wealth of care that transcends generations and cultures.

For maybe, I have something to say that you want to hear.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

I am the student, and the teacher is life.

I am the student and the teacher is God.

3/23/ll Lydia

Happy Palm Sunday. I was born on Palm Sunday. And today is my anniversary. It would have been 28 years. And did you know that in Russia, they didn't have palms, so they received pussy willows on Palm Sunday? Today my aunt and uncle brought in fresh pussy willows from their yard for all the church. What a treat. I love pussy willows. And, did you know that there is a black pussy willow? I just found that out this year at a flower and garden show in March.

Blessings to all.

Happy Birthday, Me!

2011-04-14T23:48:00.004-04:00

I woke up crying that my honey was gone. Then I saw my son's beautiful homemade card, where he cut out individual candles to match my years. It was a quiet day. Took off to get tested for Strep, because it's in the family this weekend. Cleaned the stack of dishes, talked to my brother who lives abroad on the other side of the world for over an hour or more, vacuumed most of the downstairs, a friend came over for a little visit, and at night had a wonderful dinner made by my oldest, followed by a yummy cake from the new bakery in town, and opened presents. They were very nice. Then I received text singing from a handful of my nieces and nephews, etc...other phone calls from my sister & oldest brother.

Kept missing my sister, but heard her beautiful voice singing "Happy Birthday" to me on the phone.

Goodnight.

xo Lydia

Good News...

2011-03-05T21:56:00.003-05:00

...Somehow, while checking messages at work on my cell phone, I heard my sister's message which had been deleted, since my counter went to 0. So how did it come back on along with Ken's 2 messages?

Maybe an angel had something to do with it. It was gone, and then it was there.

Have a good night.

Deleted Voice Mails

2011-03-03T23:01:00.001-05:00

I'm Miserable. My 2 saved messages from Ken on my voice mail are no more. Wanting to delete one that I just got, I pressed clear, and it cleared all. Being tired, I pressed it before I could save it.

I actually had them saved recently to a CD from an outside source through my cell phone company. But, I liked to listen to his soothing voice at times when I got another voice mail in. So, I will try to record them back onto the phone from the CD while playing it in my computer. Of course, the quality may suffer.

Thank God I actually saved his voice messages to the CD.

It actually took immediate tears and some foot stomping- all of about 1 minute, before I called Verizon to see if I could retrieve them. But, no such luck. In the future, just press 1 before hanging up and it can be saved.

Such is life. Goodnite.

Felt Head B&W Kitty

2011-03-01T20:34:00.003-05:00

Sorry- picture taken w/my cell phone. Justa little guy I made during a snow storm last month. Just need a couple of finishing touches. Really much cuter than the picture portrays. My first little needle felted guy.Dinner's ready. 'Gotta' run.

My daughter for Relay for Life

2011-02-28T23:36:00.002-05:00

As many of you know, my husband passed away last year. He had Stage IV Lung cancer. My oldest, Alex, has been doing Relay for a while. Please check out her pages and pass along to anyone you care. Thank you so much for your time .

Sincerely,

Lydia

My Reason to Relay
June 2011 will be my sixth Relay for Life! I relay for my father, who passed away in May 2010 from lung cancer, my friend Michael who was only 19 years old when he passed away in 2005 from brain cancer, and everyone else who has been affected by this terrible disease.
Please make a donation to the American Cancer Society to help us all live in a world with less cancer. Everyone has been affected in some way, whether you: have or had it, were a caregiver, knew someone with it, or even had a friend who knew someone with it. Your donation no matter how small can help so many people! Won't you please donate today?!
THANK YOU!

- Alex

If you are unable to view the message below, click here to view
This year, over 1.4 million Americans will hear the words ‘You have cancer’. I know too many people who are touched by cancer, and that is why I have joined the American Cancer Society on a mission to save lives and create a world with more birthdays by participating in the Relay For Life in my community.
At Relay For Life we celebrate loved ones who have won their battle against cancer, remember those who are no longer with us, and fight back against this disease that touches so many. I am determined to make a difference, and I hope you will join me. I will be walking on Saturday, June 11, 2011 at Sherwood High School in Olney, Maryland.
Please, support me in my efforts by using the link below to visit my personal web page and make a donation. Every dollar raised brings us one dollar closer to a cure, and to a time when the number of people who have to hear the words “you have cancer” is zero.
Thank you so much for your support. Together, we ARE saving lives and creating a world with more birthdays!
Thank you for your donation, no matter how small!
- Alex
Click here to visit my PERSONAL page.
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Click here to view the TEAM page for Aspen Hill Club
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Coming out 0f the Winter doldrums...

2011-02-15T18:31:00.005-05:00

...so I think that I am getting back to life a little. Have been inspired and making some things. No pictures for now.

Went to celebrate my grandmother's baby sister's 97th birthday last Saturday. When I put some pictures on the computer I will share. How many 97 year olds can have a bookshelf fall on them, break their tailbone in 3 places (in Oct.) , and be healed totally by February? But, she lost a bit of weight. Still looks great! Could pass for someone in her late 70's. She can talk politics and social issues with you, keeps up on things like Cairo, is into homeopathy, and can stick her tongue out like a 16 year old for pictures. She's amazing.

Sadly, my fabulous grandmother, (I was truly blessed with the best and always knew it), passed away at 59 when I was in 3rd grade. My 97 yr. old aunt has buried all three of her children and her husband. That is so very tough. But, she is an inspiration to us all and always keeps her spirits up. I easily have 4 hour telephone conversations with her. She is so much fun with whom to have a conversation.In fact, up until about 8-10 years ago, four generations would go antiquing, and guess who would drive?

The reason that I have not been blogging much is that my work schedule has been hectic, and everyday life takes so much of the time that is left. Have been feeling a bit frazzled. Hoping to get some things off my list now, and feel better about things. Lots going on since the fall, much on the shoulders. Trying to clear my head.

Of course it is hard on days like Valentine's Day and such. But, I think in general that this year has been tougher for me- maybe because it was 'last year' that we lost him.

Well, I recently took to my wool and needle felted for the first time. I am very pleased with the results. Have been working on some other wool pieces as well. Had a woolen Christmas stocking that I cut up with which I made some heads. A dog's head, a cat's head and a snake's face. They are very folk art like. The snakes face,(not scary), will turn into a little purse. The cat and dog will either be purses or dolls. Not sure which to do yet. Also have some paper mache birds in the works.

I am feeling frazzled as I have so many things to do, and when I get started, something comes to interrupt the process. I feel sometimes that not much gets done, even though I do far more than many others. Would love to start on my basement studio, but then have other necessary projects like redoing my filing system, and the purging of old papers. I have no problems organizing and purging, I just have so much of it to do. Time, time, time.

Our world is surely so crazy, when retired relatives are frazzled from life. The answer is to do less, but getting rid of things that one likes to do to stay de-frazzled sometimes seems to be the only answer to the time crunch.

My Mom's rose bush was transplanted when we sold our old family home. It gives me roses in winter. I feel that it is my Mom watching over me, sending me her love and support from heaven above when it does. And it usually comes at a point when I need the extra lift.Although there is no rose on the bush now, the above rose picture is from this rose bush which has been transplanted twice, and still gives us roses.

Just read a quote that I like, something to the effect of :

"Don't give the devil a ride. He will insist upon driving."

I take it to mean to not give in to negative thoughts- and , I guess to things in general that one may later regret doing.

Maybe Puxatawney Phil was right, and spring will be with us soon. We have been having some blue skies and temps. in the 40's and nearing 50 recently. Have a great day.

xo Lydia

31 Years ago today, My Dad Died...1 Year ago today, Ken came home for Hospice

2011-02-05T18:39:00.003-05:00

31 years ago today at 5:45 am I received a phone call. I thought that it was a subbing call, but then I looked at the clock and saw how early it was. That wasn't good. My super, well loved father passed away at 52 from fibrosis of the lungs, due to too much radiation treatment for his Hodgkin's Disease.

The radiologist was an awful man. My father was a civil servant, with average pay for the day. The doctor told him,"You took a mortgage out for your home, you took a loan out for your car, I'm not waiting for Blue Cross-Blue Shield, take a loan out to pay me."

I loved my father to the ends of the earth. He made us feel as if all four of us were his favorite. I always figured that if I was 1/2 as good a parent as my Dad was, that my kids would turn out all right. *

So it did not slip my mind in the least when we found out that Ken would come home for Hospice a year ago today. It compounded the memory date, emblazoned it in my heart and soul forever.

Of course, we were hoping to heal Ken. And, after all, while home in Hospice, he got rid of his hematuria, 2 colds, and started to gain weight/eat & drink more, ever so slowly. But then he made a drastic turn for the worst, his body temperature plummeted to 88 degrees, and then the following day, his final day here on earth with us in May, to 87 degrees. He was 55.

My sister said that he had 1 foot in heaven , and three here on earth. That so described Ken. He did not want to leave. But, alas, it was not his decision to make , but it was the decision of the man upstairs.

West Side Tennis Club.

Our beautiful children at their cousin's wedding last September.
* I feel awful, but I do not have any photos of my Dad on the computer. So many to scan. He was the best Dad anyone could've had. No lie.

S Novim Godom! Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T15:20:00.004-05:00

Last photo of hubby taken a day before his massive stroke last year at his Mom's. Thanksgiving 2009. Vomiting and Thanksgiving don't quite go together. He put on this smile for us, even though what he was going through was lousy, he still gave us this smile.
My three beautiful children at my niece's wedding last year. Even though they have been through so much, their youth carries them onward. What is the quote? "Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art." Forgot who said it. So I am a work of art? Wish I thought so! ...hahaha
A little china head doll with painted body that I made about 1 1/2 years ago. Already sold, but I thought I would post it. Not sure if I posted her picture before or not.
Here's her sister. They went to the same home. Her crown and mask are made out of painted tar paper. It is fairly sturdy and paints up well.
Yesterday we went to the facility where hubby worked. He ran the junior tennis program there for years, and the day after Christmas starts the largest junior tournament in our state. When Ken passed away, they renamed it in his name. Nice, huh?

So they asked me to come in to hand out awards, shake hands, and take photos with the winners. My oldest, who works there, did the morning photos I believe, and my middle daughter was working, so my son handed out the finalists' awards, and I the winners' .

It was nice because the winner of the boys 18s was one of Ken's long time students. And he had to beat out a lot of stiff competition to get there. And the finalist of the boys 16's is the son of Ken's doubles partner.

It was nice seeing friendly faces. One of them was a young lady who Ken coached for years who 'made good' in the tennis world. She's graduating college soon. Seeing her , I told her how much Ken enjoyed coaching her. She was affected, and I started to cry, just a little. I had to NOT look at all his photos at the club, to retain my composure.

After that nice afternoon, my son and I had dinner, then a quiet evening at home.My oldest was with her boyfriend, and celebrations leading up to a wedding today. My middle daughter went with a good friend to a Drama teacher's party for past and present students, then they came home to play guitar and make brownies. And I put a mini fooseball table together that I had gotten as a gift. The regular table is in the basement, but my oldest thought it would make a great gift to have a little table upstairs.

You see, in college, I 'minored' in fooseball. I hung out with all the international students, who were very good at the fooseball table, and learned a thing or two. Of course, I am out of practice a bit. My friend Jean and I would put our quarter up to play the winners. The guys would size us up and think they could beat us because we were a couple of girls. Then we'd whip their buns, and perplex the heck out of them. And to think that the first time I played the game in Syracuse, while visiting Jean, that I played so very badly. But, I was smitten by the game and got so good that by the time I visited her next, I was actually a decent partner. And so began my career in University Fooseball....hahaha

It was hard last night at midnite, not having my Ken to kiss, not even in the hospital. It was also hard because now I have to say that I lost my husband 'last year'. And remembering our quiet night last (2009) New Year's Eve in the Rehab hospital, and the following day when we spent 11 1/2 hours in the ER of the hospital attached to the Rehab . Hospital, all the while taking care of my husband's hematuria, and the subsequent lack of sleep for 2 days+, and the horrible stay at that hospital for 6 days, and just wanting to take hubby home because they were just atrocious there, and him going back to the Rehab, Hospital, but things had changed and he started to go down hill---well, those are tough memories to hold for all of us.

But, you know? God says to have hope 'til the end. And that's what I did with Ken, and that's what I do now. Hope that things will get better for us all, and knowing that he is at peace, and no longer in mental, (and physical) suffering. For it was the mental suffering which was the hardest for my poor hubby.

So if you smoke, please heed this warning. I don't want to get graphic, but it was no cake walk to go through what my hubby went through. Don't risk what he went through. You will be so very thankful that you gave it up. I did, so many years ago, when I became pregnant with my first, and I am so thankful that I did.

Ok...so I've spoken of dolls/artwork, kids , a hubby that left us, smoking, and fooseball in college. Now I have a kitty on my lap who needs some attention:)

Have a Blessed New Year.

xo Lydia

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-27T01:06:00.002-05:00

What's been going on, what's around my house,memories and then some...and a little recent artwork.....

2010-12-06T23:30:00.008-05:00

Circa 1987.
Circa 1980.
A Kick Ass definition by my kick-ass fabulous niece and hubby (ex-Marine & all around wonder guy) given to my hubby before his brain surgery 4 years ago. Preparation for the surgery included Power Words air brushed that are still around the house. This is part of the Kick Ass sign.
China head doll pin keep.
Kiska kitty and very old hand painted, water color, large, wooden, Ukrainian/Russian egg from where my grandmother's family is from-Galitsia. It is now mostly Austria & Hungary.
My anniversary card this year from hubby before he passed away. Written with help from my daughter. He signed the bottom-barely legible with his 'stroke' mind & body.

It says,

" Dear Lydia, I would like to write to you a letter telling you how much I love you. I love you because you write well, and some of the lilacs you gave to me smell good. I love you. Sincerely with love, KenBuvShluv" "It says" pointing to what he signed- dictated to Lara . So he signed his name with his initials, and told her what to write.( My husband wrote extremely well himself. He wrote articles for tennis magazines as a side line).

I had gotten a small handful of lilacs from our garden & put them in a tiny glass on his stand by his bed while he was in Hospice. It's funny how he said, "some of the lilacs", because there were only a few that would fit into that tiny glass. They were my anniversary gift to him. He loved his gardening. It is my most special card and now resides on the fireplace mantle.

BtC- before the cancer.

Three little old chalk ware dolls who rest in front of an oil painting, as if they had just walked out of it. Notice the little Cossack guy.
A great card that I had gotten and given to hubby that is eternally up on my wire card rack hanging on my laundry room door.

It's there because it reminds me to find humor in my otherwise not always humorous days: Failure to diagnose cancer for my hubby by a doctor who said, "you have pain in your arm and chest and you smoke, I can't find anything, you're ok because you're an athlete"-so that when he finally is diagnosed he has stage IV lung cancer. 4 years of cancer treatments, brain surgery, massive stroke, blood clot in the lung, multiple bad seizures, 3 hospitals, hematuria for 70 days, massive weight loss, major debilitation, lack of cognizance most of the time (and he was a very sharp man), Hospice, not always recognizing us, running tennis tournaments in our family room, and not knowing that I had Lyme and Mono when he was first diagnosed and had brain surgery, 4 years ago. I do need to remind myself to find the humor.

A watercolor painting by my wonderful friend Patty, who painted this of/for our family. She said she was sending me some flowers. We are each flowers. Isn't it wonderful?
A cute find ...keep, make pin cushion in and sell...not sure what to do with it just yet...
A corner old shelf holding mugs. The top 2 were my Mom's. I always loved them growing up. The bottom one I found antiquing somewhere about 10 years ago.
A tiny kitty pin keep.
An old oil painting which now hangs in our powder room. Found at my Mom's, when she passed away. Someone gave it to her.OK- I am trying to come alive again. You see, the day after Thanksgiving 2009 while visiting Ken's family, my husband got up and had a massive stroke, blood clot in the lung, and multiple bad seizures, all on top of stage IV lung cancer. It was very tough, and continues to be. I am trying not to book too much, as I have to try and relax and enjoy life. It is so difficult to do without the one you love. And life doesn't exactly get easier.

We went to my brother's house and had a Norman Rockwell looking and tasting turkey. Then we had a blast for a few hours playing Scrabble with my niece and her hubby. It felt so good to laugh hysterically for such a long time. And their delicious little daughter, my grand niece, melts you when she just says, "Yess". We are looking forward to going to their house for Christmas. It will break up what we usually do. We need that.

God Bless, and I pray you all enjoy your holidays.

So Sorry for Not Posting Lately...

2010-11-29T23:28:00.004-05:00

...life has been very hectic lately, as we came upon the one year anniversary of hubby's massive stroke.Hit a deer, baking element went right before the cooking demo, jobs, interviews, artwork for shows and shops, and a great big mess around the house getting cleaned up...a noise in the garage sends for the police, but it looks like it was just the ladder that slid---I guess. Nothing found-phew!

It has been a very tough time and year, so please bear with- will post more very soon.

Thank you all for all of your support. What a year.

God Bless.

PS- The Russian Cooking Demonstration was a success! Cookbook to come??? haha

Russian Cooking Demonstration

2010-11-05T23:18:00.004-04:00

Zhulyienne,Russian Tea Cakes, and Variations of, and maybe some piroshki! Oh, My! I have never done anything like this before. Cooking, baking, talking, teaching language and culture...well, I have done all of these, just not together for a group, outside my home. 3 1/2 hours!!!

Wish me luck!

What I Want to Work on Soon...( and a Giveaway Coming in the Near Future)

2010-10-26T14:06:00.003-04:00

This is a cell phone picture that I took at a local antique place. I bought this cabinet, because I feel it will be good painted up and displaying for shows. I am always trying to think of ways to make the display work situation easier.

So I will paint it a cream color, as it will blend well and show off the items in and on it. I want to hang 3 vintage frames on the doors and back that have a cork panel on them. That will be for (mostly Alex's) jewelry. I will put a large but slender piece of foam in between 2 identical frames , facing each other for transporting. I will bind them with a big , strong headband style elastic.

The doors can close. The back will also have a frame with cork, or velveteen with cork under it , so that all sides will be utilized. It has a mirror on the inside back panel, and even had had electric( an outlet), with a light, at one time.

So, I have never had a giveaway and have been going through things. I have come up with some nice items to share for a giveaway. But, with a few p/t jobs under my belt, it may take me a little.

I think the cabinet will be pretty. What do you think?

Meet you at the show....

2010-10-22T21:59:00.001-04:00

...if you are in the area. It's actually in Timonium, right by Lutherville.

Booth 422.

I have art work and vintage items. Hope you can come. (address and zip of the state fairgrounds is listed in shows and shops listed to the right). See you there!!!

LOOK AT THESE FABULOUS RINGS!

2010-10-20T23:00:00.002-04:00

(made by Alex)

All three available in our Etsy shop, click here! Along with many other goodies!

I can live for 2 months on a compliment-Mark Twain

2010-10-09T01:31:00.002-04:00

Miscellany..........................

Anyone going to the Country Living Fair?

2010-09-19T16:06:00.001-04:00

Anyone going? Give a holler. Not sure yet if going.

DC Big Flea-July 2010

2010-09-14T23:53:00.009-04:00

Random photos from the show in July. If interested in anything, email to inquire if still around.

Pom Pom kitty in vintage clothing.

A book and a bauble.
Alex and Larissa's glass bauble weights/inspiration.
Cream mini birdcage with vintage cowboy statuette inside.
It's all good. Need I say more?Vintage little puppy dogs and vintage cast iron dalmation bookends in background.
This is a tiny doll cup and a tiny kitty-vintage.

Alex's collaged vintage (with some new) jewelry hanging up in a drawer.
Vintage bird on vintage looking mini wreath ornament.
Cool photo transferred deer ornament with jingly little bells.A vintage Peter Pan doll. Tinker Bell already sold.
Reprints of earlier work Halloween watercolors mounted on cardboard, backed with artist paper, and sealed-all on vintage blocks.

Adorable vintage orange ceramic shoes.
Tiny kitty pin keep... 'Dance'Blurry photo kitty pin keep.
BOO baubles.

Alex's collaged bracelet.
Vintage Glitter letter.
Vintage broche.Vintage clown dolls and vintage look, original watercolor reprint made into a glazed pin with googly eyes.
The vintage cowboy in bird cage surrounded by mini collaged notebooks and glass baubles.
I know, I am way behind. Life is tough, what can I say. Enjoy your day.

A cold, A Wedding, and a Show

2010-09-09T00:53:00.005-04:00

My beautiful bride-niece and my beautiful daughter(maid of honor).

Nasty head cold from my # 1,

Wedding joys from my niece in NY,

and preparations for a great , big show.

More to come, to see, to glee about:)hehe

PS- I know none of this rhymes, but it is concise...and a nice , little visit from my mother-in-law this evening. She lost her Mom and her only son within 2 months of each other.

Later.xo Lydia

Random Thoughts on a Random Day

2010-08-27T19:02:00.004-04:00

OK- so how adorable is my grand niece, anyway? haha... She's a pip. A real smartie, and loveable little 1 1/2+ year old. A picture from our home the night of a Memorial service for Ken. She is so very delicious. Oh, lucky us:)
My ever wise, polite Kiska. I don't know what I'd do without this kitty. I'm kinda' special to him:)...and vice versa.
An adorable kitty that my neighbor found along a road. They fixed him up at the vet's and decided to bring him home. He is so sweet.Pretty flowers around outside.
What is this thing anyway? Is it some kind of dragonfly? Does anyone know? Very interesting. We had so many this summer. (click to enlarge).
And my photographer daughter is forever taking photos of all kinds of things. These next 3 shots are very cool.c. L A-G

And, what better way to end the picture day....
.....so this has been quite an exhaustive year. (...as I type, the above mentioned kitty has just meowed and entered with a gift of his butterfly toy. I am loved. He wants my lap and to push, but I cannot do that with this posting).

So last summer, a long ago friend,Jawade, passed away . Then Kippy , my talkative and very furry kitty in Aug., and good friend , Jenny in Sept., then my darling hubby Ken had his massive stroke,blood clot in the lung , and multiple seizures the day after Thanksgiving, (all on top of his stage IV lung cancer), then Ken's 98 year old grandmother passed away in March, and Ken followed 2 months to the day in May, then my brother-in-law's 92 year old mother passed away,(I think it was on Ken's birthday in July), and within days my cousin Nina (73- she would come to every family event and will be sorely missed- my dad's 1st cousin. Her dad and my grandfather came over from Russia , right before the Revolution, with a priest for religious freedom in the early 1920's), and then just this past Sunday, my good friend Patty's husband, Byron, passed away after years living with the repercussions of a stroke, & then lung cancer on top..................

Ok, so it has been a tough year. Add to that the state of the economy and nation, job situation, paperwork, 3 kids (with one teenage son), and..............but, somehow we are hanging tough, as they say. And that includes feeling very lousy many days, but somehow we make it through.

My coffee table is still a 'wreck' with papers, vintage ephemera, etc. for collages, pins, ornaments, and more. I am trying to work in the family room while catching some news here and there. Shops asking, and shows coming up....I still haven't loaded the pictures onto my computer. A job application out the door today, and tomorrow I may go to DC, not sure. Feeling pretty tired after a night of not much sleep 2 nights ago.

Larissa and I had a nice visit with a Hospice counselor today. And I made a lot of catch up phone calls. And my very kind neighbor recently mowed and weed wacked my 'getting to be unruly lawn'. Nice to cross some things off my very long list! And so blessed by such wonderful people in our lives.

Forgive me my random ramblings.So many people are having such hard times. Prayers to you all.

Oh,yeah,I almost forgot---my daughter flipped over in the car last July. The car was totaled, but she walked out alive with just a few scratches on her. That was such a big scare that did not go away right away. An angel (or a few) on her shoulder.

Memory Eternal, Margaret, Nina, Byron!

Be blessed!

xo Lydia

A Bridal Shower,Artwork, and Paperwork

2010-08-20T12:49:00.005-04:00

My beautiful niece, Lindsay. Soft spoken, multi-talented, knowledgable, organized, kind, gentle, and drop dead gorgeous:)
Larissa and her blueberries.
Getting ready for the last show. Art nouveau table for sale, and will be at Boonsborough Days. I often use display pieces that I sell. Gold paint underneath, and it has some age.
Homemade, delicious, handmade Margharita pizza. Yum. Very easy. I will tell you how another time, including my Russian teacakes as I promised.
Pretty cake from Safron bakery for Serge. Even though his birthday was a month ago, I thought I'd show it. Safron Bakery makes fabulous French butter cream cakes. Pretty flowers.

So, sorry for not posting recently. I did not realize that it has been nearly 2 weeks! My daughter , Alex , is her cousin Lindsay's maid of honor. So the shower was 3 states away on Long Island on the 14th. Lindsay was surprised and the shower was very nice. I haven't taken the memory stick out of the camera yet to see the pictures, though.

Everyday, I have been trying to get to artwork. I have shows coming up very soon. Boonsborough Days is very big and is creeping up very quickly. Stores have been asking for artwork to sell, and I keep 'not having enough' to bring in. Not good. And we have so much to put on Etsy, but we have been very negligent- although with very good reason.

And the paperwork is never-ending , it seems. So , I have been trying very hard to do some paperwork every day. I have been very good at it, but still need to plough away. I came onto the computer to start a rough draft of an appeal that I am submitting, and got diverted by this blog post. And my kitchen, family room, and dining room tables and island are loaded with glazed pins and ornaments in the making, along with a gazillion other items I uncovered to work on. My kitchen table holds about 17-24 canvasses all sketched in ready for painting/collaging.

I know, terrible- to have to eat meals at different loacations. Ehhh!!!!! BUt, out of sight is out of mind. I could move them easily, but....

And I am invited to a friend's house this evening. Either she will cook, or she and her husband will take me out. Who can say no?haha......

Hopefully soon I will post pictures of all the work that I am working on around the house. And in between all this 'fun' , I am interviewing, etc for jobs. Sometimes, ...alright, often, I do not know which to tackle first. But, I just start doing. It's not easy keeping all the eggs in the basket after losing one's husband of 27 years just less than 3 months ago. We still miss him big time, and still are finding our way.

Stay blessed.

Vintage Sunday

2010-08-08T13:58:00.006-04:00

A vintage looking rose.
A wooden egg, probably from the late 1800's, painted with watercolors from Galitsia. Galitsia is where my Grandmother's family is from. They were Russian, with some Ukrainian in the background, no doubt. Galitsia no longer exists, but its area is now found in Austria & Hungary. So when I saw this egg, I knew it was for me. I bought it at a street fair in Laurel, MD years ago-maybe 16-18. It's fabulous, don't you think? I love finding things with meaning , like this. The picture does not do it justice.A fabulous cottage clock. It works, but needs constant winding. That's a picture of my grandma & grandpa. He was from Tula, the wrought iron factory outside of Moscow. That's where they made the canons and the samovars. It is near Yasnaya Polyana, where Tolstoy had his summer home.

My grandfather went around the world on a boat with one brother and other boys- young sailors in uniforms. They came to the US , but had to go back, then came back again- this time to settle. I have his ship tickets, and his guardian's passport, his old Russian & Orthodox school books. His guardian was a very special man, who was my Dad's godfather. Fr. Joseph was a wonderful priest, who to this day is looked upon as a very good man. He is buried in New Hampshire. My father was a very good man. One of those rare birds who leaves a mark on many, but never knew it at the time.

My grandfather came over when he was 13! Imagine that. Traveling the world 1 1/2 times, then settling in a foreign country, leaving your beloved roots and family and friends, for religious freedom. He came at the wake of the Russian Revolution. He would get letters from his parents asking for help for others such as a prosthetic leg. Those are the roots from which my family came. Educated, yet simple people, who were faithful, and always helped others. Can you imagine what it must have been like to even think of locating a prosthetic limb, and having it sent to another country? Even today this would be a huge undertaking.

My grandmother was THE BEST grandmother in all the land! She, like my Dad, passed away young in her 50's. Everyone should have a grandmother as good as she.

A very old Russian maiden doll, holding a vintage mini icon. She is made of silk with a formed , sculpted underskin, and painted features. I can't remember where I found her- perhaps at the Gaithersburg doll show, in Gaithersburg ,MD, years ago. She is great-more wonderful in person.:)
OK- these are not vintage looking- yet just pretty for a final picture. So what vintage specialties do you have in your home that have meaning, even if they are not handed down?

Courage and the Cat

2010-08-05T00:45:00.003-04:00

Power words made by those who love us. A cat who sits watchful of the powerful words.A note by someone who has loved me since I was a child, and the most, delicious,.......
...chocolate chip cookies ever. Made the same way for maybe over 40 years. Always perfect, because the imperfect would be secretly eaten, so that all would always be perfect.

A most wonderful gift.
God's grace in every picture. Remembering what is truly important.
A gift of the flowers of life, the flowers in our life. Intense color in friendship and love.
The imperfect edge of a cabinet, over 100 years old......how perfect this imperfection.
Does this need any explanation? Observe the delicious black pads.
A flower by any other name......

an invitation in waiting for a special event.
A new found picture, uncovered by a cousin, tucked away in the years of life, to emerge

on our chair.... now this, dear friends, is priceless.
The courage in living when the hole is so huge. When we get lost in our worlds, it is in the little things in life, in the little details where memories exist and prosper.

Happy 56th Birthday KG!...29 July

2010-08-01T01:59:00.005-04:00

So this was taken years ago I think in Central Park. Ken is in the foreground playing doubles with his good long time friend Scott.

Larissa had a dream of him walking out the front door with some of my family, and some of his. He was smiling and feeling good and dressed in all white with a white hat. I guess God's tennis courts require all white:), like some of the old established formal clubs. A good dream I'd say.

Happy Birthday Ken for the 29th !!! Miss you big time handsome.

PS- The show I thought was a bust, but after coming home and tallying up, we did better than presumed. At least we paid for everything and then some. And I sold a lot of art work vs. antiques/vintage items. So the feedback on newer items was very good.

I think people thought it would be too hot. It was beautiful w/the air conditioning, thank goodness. I was told that the show was not indicative of a normal show for July.... although, I do not know if I should give it another chance. Too much work for sure. We shall see. Too much heat and humidity +the lousy economy, which does not look to be improving yet, make for a so-so show. Hope the rest of the year will be better!

Serge turned 15 last Friday...

2010-07-19T12:22:00.006-04:00

.....the first birthday without his Dad. The first pictures are from playing around with the football in our backyard the day of Ken's funeral. The other shots are from Homecoming last year. He refused to smile for me, but eventually gave me some .

I think that he is quite photogenic, as well as others, but he does not approve of pictures being taken of him. I guess that I am the same way, except that I am no longer in my youth,(although my great Aunt Betty tells me that I am young- she is 96! and looks fabulous, BTW), and the camera does not always like me so much. Maybe I should practice like my kids do, goofing around all the time in front of the camera- the national , youth time fashion.

Nothing seems to be quite right for him right now. Food isn't quite right, the way with the family is not right,...he won't say this, but it's obvious. When my Mom died, he was 3. The day of the funeral he was quite upset about his belt. Nothing was right with his belt. He went on and on about the belt- so unlike this confident young man. Ken and I realized that it was because of losing his grandmother. Although, he doesn't even remember that now.

Anyhoo,the shots lead up to a nice smile. He has already matured since these pictures were taken last fall, and already looks differently. It seems that people have forgotten about his birthday. A few have remembered. I wish more had, considering that he is hurting big time about his Dad- (but, will deny such). He will kill me if he ever reads this post. He does not want any attention upon himself...... 15 without your Dad, at a time when all young men need their fathers. Such a tough time.

Be blessed.

DC Big Flea

2010-07-19T11:32:00.004-04:00

Please pray that this weekend will be a cooler one than the ones we have had recently.

SoI did my first big flea in Timonium /called the Baltimore Big Flea last October, and did fairly well compared to many, I am told. So friends and others recommended that I do one of the DC ones. I pray thatall goes well and that the weather is w/us. Larissa will be doing it with me. We will stay at a friend's house....although, he sold his house and things will be very sparse. Even so, we live 1 1/2 hrs. away, and he lives 20-30 min. away. Hope that it is worth our while. We will have art and antique.

Wish us luck!

Huge Cardboard Spools

2010-07-18T22:33:00.005-04:00

So what would you do with these very large cardboard spools??? They were free and I picked up a few. I wanted more , but they would take up so much space. And while picking them out I made a new friend. Hello Kim!

My friend Alison said to collage them and punch holes, or create and hang hooks from the top , from which to hang jewelry.

You could make them into wheels for something very big.

So what is your idea? The ribbon factory asked me to email or call back to give them the ideas, because they had none. Maybe then they would charge for them???

on : 40 days & letting go

2010-07-05T20:17:00.001-04:00

In the Orthodox faith, there are memorial services for those who have passed. 9 days, 40 days, 1 year, on their day of death, or their birthdays...so this weekend marked the 40 days for Ken's passing.

In many cultures mourners would be hired to help the remaining grieve, because it is not considered a good thing to continue to hold on to the one who has passed. We must let them go and move on. Now, anyone who has lost a loved one knows that you cannot 'get over' their death in 40 days. But, it is important to not drag them down to remain here on earth. They are on to another journey beyond what we have here on earth. Usually & hopefully, a good 1 1/2 -3 years takes away the initial great difficulties, and leads to an acceptance of some kind, making life easier to handle without the loved one.

Time heals all wounds, but never forgets. Memory Eternal KG!

Ken's Last days...(this one is long)

2010-07-05T19:47:00.006-04:00

Ken had gotten rid of hematuria(70 days of blood in the urine), and 2 colds (he never let anything get on his chest, ever, since I'd known him),and was starting to gain weight, ounce by ounce (we could not weigh him, but we could see the indentations in his forehead from the brain surgery in 2006, fill in), and so a good friend recommended trying Marinol (medicated marih-a), to increase his appetite. I thought that was worth a try.

The first day on the stuff, I thought that he was having a bad reaction to it, but was told that this could happen 'til the body became acquainted with the medicine.So we persevered. He would usually have a short time during the day of very lucid moments. During these short times he seemed to understand all, and could communicate remarkably well. But , then later on in the day he would get extremely ornery, moving and thrashing around and not cooperating much with the nurse's aid, us, taking medicine, or just about anything. I was told to try the medicine for at least a week or so. Someone else said that you had to be on it for at least 2 weeks.

Well, by the end of the week, he got the hematuria back, after about 64 days of NO hematuria. Of course, I pulled him from it immediately, and prayed that this hematuria was just from the medicine. My son, after about 4 days asked me to stop the medicine because of his orneriness. In retrospect, of course, I wish I had. And we did not even give the full dosage. We were told to work up to the 3x a day.We never did. After pulling him from the medicine, within about 3 1/2 days the hematuria went away.

His voice had become very low and light sounding, not strong. And after pulling the medicine, it remained light. He continued to eat and drink fine for his circumstance the whole time, but we saw NO increase in appetite from the medicine.

Everything for a reason......

The Saturday before my sweet hubby passed away, he drastically changed. His movements became so very slow, his arm trailing off into the air. He suddenly only spoke 3-5 words or so a day---very, very few. Hospice came at 1:30 in the morning, and I decided to ask for a nurse every day, instead of the once a week normality.

The nurse's aid, a wonderful and dear person, came during the weekdays. Our nurse helped to get her in the beginning when we did all ourselves for the first couple of weeks during the huge snowstorms. Inevitably, we would have to do all on so many days, but having her come still made things easier, even if we worked our bu-s off, which we did so many days. We did everything for Ken. He was a mover, (and never once got any bedsores), just like he was when he was a little baby/toddler. But, that made helping him very difficult at times.

He would crush our hands with his legs or squeeze us so hard, helping him with his daily needs.He got so confused over what we had to do for him. I , of course, did everything, and my children helped out when I would be just drained at times. But, it was amazing how they did everything for their father. The 2nd day that he was home in Hospice, I went to take a shower. When I came down they had him in the wheelchair, and were sanitizing the bed, changing the sheets, etc.. Later on Ken wouldn't even be able to sit in the wheelchair. As he got weaker, he could only sit up for about 15-30 seconds without passing out. I think, actually, in the end, that it may have been the Lyme that got him, on top of the cancer,as his last scans in Feb continued to show the cancer not present in some areas where they had once been. The cancerous areas were decreasing.

He also developed a bulge in his right jaw, that no one could figure out. It did not act or look like cancer, and our chiropractor thought that perhaps a nodule or muscle had gotten stuck somehow in an unusual location. He contorted his body like a pretzel , sleeping between the 2 railings at night. We stretched him daily, so that he would not get stuck in such a position permanently, which often happened with people in his situation.

We were so diligent, that the day he died, there was no contortion whatsoever. It was such very hard work, as he sometimes thought that we were doing this to harm him. (It was mentally and physically grueling at times for us). But, most times, he would release plenty of "ahs" as he stretched out his muscles, multiple times a day, sometimes even exercising them himself. He was so cute, trying so hard to exercise 'til just about the end.

His temperature that last Sunday was 96.7 . A nurse came on Sunday as well, we were not sure if he had aspirated some medicine. But, his lungs were fine.

I have to tell you here, that my husband was raised Catholic. He was not much in terms of a practicing Catholic, although the last couple of years he attended Easter services at a local church. Throughout the years he came to church with us for important and various services. Parishioners in our little church, Russian Orthodox/Eastern Orthodox, had become acquainted with him, some more than others, throughout the years, no matter where we lived. Our last priest knew him fairly well after 13 years.

The Hospice chaplain, a lovely man, came regularly as well. He is a Catholic priest who studied/participated a bit with the Eastern rite and was quite familiar with the Orthodox church as well.

Well, Ken had told me that he would love to be buried Orthodox, because of their beautiful, all encompassing services for funerals. Now, that in itself is not necessarily reason for becoming Orthodox, but we spoke of it while he was ill. He first said that we would talk about it "later". Then he started to say that yes he would like it. I/we never pushed, because Orthodox do not as a rule do that. No doubt there are those who do, but overall, that is not the Eastern Orthodox way. It is more by example, and not preaching to those of other faiths. Ken had also said that he would like to be cremated, but I told him that if he became Orthodox, that this would not happen, as it is against the faith.

Monday rolled around and I drove out to where we used to live for my dental appointment. The Hospice nurse told my daughter that his temperature read 88 degrees! We all thought that her thermometer was broken. He had his massage therapist, a volunteer in Hospice, come. Ken brought her to him to hug her a couple of times. She, a dear, dear soul, was touched.

We called our priest, who earlier in the year, when Ken was in the hospital, would not really consider a Chrismation, without classes.We called one of the retired priests who attends our church---the nicest man. A truly lovely soul. But, he said that he did not want to 'step on Father's toes', so we called our priest again, and under the circumstances he agreed. Father was so very kind .

Father asked Ken if this was his want, to become Orthodox, "Yes," was most definitely his response,in his now whispery voice for all to hear. I was so very careful, as I never wanted to push. It had to be Ken's wish, and it was.

My aunt and uncle said that they had never gotten dressed so quickly and rushed over to our home. They had been in their pajamas, settling in for the evening. They had no idea that Ken was even considering a Chrismation. (Baptism is

for those not having been baptized before, chrismation for those already baptized elsewhere). My good friend and her husband came, brought a cross, and her husband was the sponsor. All of us were there.

You have to understand that Ken hardly spoke, moved, looked at us, or anything since that last Saturday. For the Chrismation, he was so animated, smiling ear to ear, more than he'd smiled almost the whole previous year. To this point it had been a few days short of 6 months since he had the massive stroke, multiple bad seizures, and blood clot in the lung, the day after Thanksgiving last year,(all this on top of stage IV lung cancer, whole brain radiation, chemo 2x's, a clinical trial, chest radiation, brain surgery, and a bad virus that he contracted in his last chemo last fall,while his oncologist had the swine flu, and then the subsequent vomiting and his kidneys working at 20 or so percent because of the virus and vomiting)...my poor baby, my sweet, sweet hubby.

He was so very animated and excited, and loved when we all laughed with him, laughing and smiling more. I felt a lightness on my shoulders right after the chrismation. Everyone could not stop smiling . Everyone there was touched and felt the blessedness of the event. It was amazing.

Everyone left, and we stayed with Ken 'til late. He kept drawing us to him to hug and to kiss us, staring deeply into our eyes. This after not even being able to get his attention since Saturday, waving our hands in front of him to see if he knew we were there, if he would flinch his eyes. He stared so intently, telling us how much he loved us with his strokes, hand squeezes, pulling us to him.

Alex and Serge finally went to bed. Larissa stayed on the couch as she usually did, and I stayed on the chair by his side, laying my head next to his a lot. He wanted us near him always.We kept putting the blanket on him, fixing his sheets, etc, as he moved all night long. Larissa told him she loved him, and he said 'I love you' back at one point. Three of the very few words that he spoke all day/night. He finally settled down to sleep about 5:30 in the morning.

Tuesday morning, 25 May, 2010 Ken awoke after just a couple of hours sleep, as well as I and Larissa. Alex was not going in to work, in order to stay w/Ken. Serge had intended to go to school, but I told him to stay home for his dad. I called the Hospice nurse, and luckily our nurse was available and came shortly. We were all with him. He did not move, did not look at us staring off, was so very silent and still, breathing very slowly. His body temperature was now 87 degrees.

We told him how much we loved him, what a great husband and father he was, and all the people who loved him. I asked him to forgive me for anything that I'd ever done or said that upset him in any way. We called his mother . She spoke to him, and 2 tears dropped from his right eye. Hearing is the last sense to leave. All four of his sisters spoke to him by phone, 2 from Hawaii at 3am Hawaii time. My sister, who had not been able to visit him yet, called and spoke to him as well, and his good wheelchair bound friend, who he had coached since he was about 13 years old after he was shot by a crazy man- now a thirty-something year old doctor.

The time between his breaths became longer, as the kids cried out , "Breathe, Dad, breathe!" We were all around him, the breaths taking up to 30-45 seconds it seemed, they cried a few more times for him to breathe, he did, and then he took his last breathe. He passed away at 9:16 am. I noticed the clock on the phone, and the hospice nurse in the other room heard our wails, and sobs, and angst in tears- and logged the time of death from our wails.

He died so peacefully, needing no medicines of any kind. In the Orthodox faith this is considered a true blessing , and there are those that consider it a miracle. The night before, I asked God to heal Ken completely, but that if it was not in his plan, to please keep him from this mental suffering that Ken was going through in this state.

Ken did not want to leave us. My sister said that he had one foot in heaven, and three here on earth. I am reminded of the movie Princess Bride, when mad Max(?-Billy Crystal) says that the main character(Elwes-I am forgetting his character's name right now) is almost dead, but not quite. He asks him, what is so worth living for/for hanging around, and he replies faintly, "True Love". Again he asks, and again he replies, "True love". Only the week before, Ken told me that he was scared of dying. He came to a peace on that Tuesday.

We kept him with us for a few hours, not wanting to let him go. Puma, my little kitty who loved sleeping with him, and by his head so many times, slept with Ken until the funeral parlor came for him. Kiska was scared of everyone coming, and when they had taken him, and everyone else had gone, he came upstairs looking for Ken and was upset. But, of course he knew, as animals can smell death .

The house was quiet, but then it filled up again with friends and neighbors, bringing food and flowers, hugs and kisses, and tears. We got tons of chicken that day.haha

There have been some blessings, as does occur when loved ones leave us. We are always looking for the blessings, especially when they stare you in the eye. A neighbor friend and their family, having been estranged w/one another since a death in the family, became reunited that very day in front of our home. Blessings. A cousin visits another after 25 years of not having travelled before. Life just never gave the chance to visit. Blessings....there are many more.

The next day we visited 2 local cemeteries. I had previously thought about where in the world would he be buried if he left us. I tried talking w/him about this , but his answer was always, "I don't know". We decided on the one hidden more from the road in the neighboring town. But, when we got there the next day to speak with the caretaker, they only allowed markers in the ground, which upset me, because it made me feel as if it was in a military cemetery. The monuments in this cemetery date back to the 1700's with beautiful carved angels hovering above throughout.

I made an appointment with the cemetery in our town , 2 minutes away. It also is from the 1700's, but is more simple overall. When we drove in, the gentleman, Eric, stated that the spaces available were in the front by the road. I had told my kids that I didn't want anything by the road. I started to cry that nothing was working out right. Eric said,"Wait.Wait. We have other areas, on the side by the trees". I asked if there was anything to the back overlooking a beautiful, old farmette. He answered that there was. He broke up a 4 top plot to make a 2 person plot, and it was under a tree overlooking the farmette. And so, Ken has the most beautiful spot in the cemetery under a cedar tree on top of a tiny hill, overlooking the serene farmette. Everyone who sees it remarks, "How did you find such a spot??? It is just wonderful!"

My good friend and her husband have planted wonderful flowers beneath the tree and around. Technically we are not able to plant anything, but I told the caretaker that my husband loved gardening, and that I would have to plant a little something. He was not upset. He buried his young son there 2 years ago. He had just graduated college, and was in a car accident. The loveliest man. He even stopped by the house to drop of the deed to the plot. That's what living in the country is like.

My brother and his wife had the reception catered at our home, following the burial, by our favorite local bakery & cafe. The food was amazing.The people were extraordinary. The house was filled with laughter, and stories, and much love, 'til late at night, with a few young friends overnighting as guests. Someone even left a pair of black, men's loafers by the front door (Do you know whose they are??haha)Ken's blown up pictures, from the surprise 55th birthday party last July were spread throughout the home(and still are). Flowers were everywhere for the longest time, and I talk to Ken at the drop of a hat.

Larissa and I have had dreams about him. I saw 2 flashes of something to the sides of me, at 2 different times, while crying and talking to him. Years ago we promised one another to communicate to the other whenever the time came. I don't even know if he'd remembered that . One day while thinking about him on my bed, his eyes came to my mind's vision, off to the side. They stayed there for a minute or so.

At times it feels as if the family is falling apart, in order to regroup and become the new entity that it will be. I remember that happening after my father died, and again after my Mom died. And good things came from both sad events. They always do.

May you find the good in the bad, the open window after the closed door, may you accept God's guidance in the little and big ways that unfold. I am trying hard to remember that all is in God's hands and that there is a reason for this all, and to trust in the 'master plan' as I choose the details of my new life. Be blessed.

We miss you big time.

xo Lydia

My Honey's last few days...coming soon

2010-06-24T20:05:00.004-04:00

Here's my cutey-honey all the way on the left front. 3 of his sisters, some cousins, & thinking his Gma and aunt also. His cheeks look so squeezable, don't they?

New Music, New Words, New Life...

2010-06-07T16:04:00.006-04:00

Ken in Moscow, 1980's.
In Ecuador, before our wedding in early '80's.
Picture taken in Virginia Beach , '79 or '80.
So dear friends, I have been silent for so long, and am just here to tell you that when I am ready I will write more.

But, for now, I have added some Leo Kottke songs. My hubby was his most devoted fan in all the world, no doubt, without getting creepy or anything. Leo is to be appreciated especially, in person. In concert, he is so very entertaining, as he weaves numerous stories at the same time, tuning his various guitars along the way. He is extremely spatial , and that I can certainly appreciate. Did I tell you how funny he is?

It is so very tough here without my honey, and I miss him so very much. We all do. He will be missed by many....and his mother, lost her 98 year old mother on 25 Mar., and her only son, Ken, on 25 May.

Please know that your prayers , warm words, emails,....are so comforting and appreciated. I am still here. Forgive me while I find my way without the man I love.

My Kenny...9:16 am today

2010-05-25T23:47:00.001-04:00

...peacefully passed away after a drastic change on Sat..

I love you my honey.

Memory Eternal. xo

Be not afraid...

2010-05-22T22:14:00.006-04:00

Be Not afraid of going slowly. Be afraid of staying still.

Japanese Proverb

This is a piece I needle sculpted in the nineties, entitled, 'Man in the Moon'...what else? He's made from an old quilt, and that's Mongolian Tibetan Goat Hair, my doll hair of choice. He is large, and resides in my son's room now.

I was into needle sculpting in cloth , and studied under some very nice doll artists back then; my favorite being Akira Blount, a super talented , warm and friendly doll artist.

So today, and lately I feel as if I am going so very slowly. I can certainly agree with the proverb.

Two weeks ago I did a local show and competed the whole time with the wind, holding my tent down as I was writing receipts- at points just standing up and holding on for dear life. I thought that we (daughter's work also) did bare bones, but was surprised to see that we made quite a bit more than I thought after counting, (I finally counted up a few days ago),which made me feel much better about the whole stressful day. I was only able to put out 1/4 of our work, so making more than expected was great. Couldn't put much out because of everything blowing in the wind.

Today was a community yard sale and sales were very lousy. That is because I was not running the event. I started it in our new neighborhood, and would put out 40-60 signs, flyers, ads etc. We live in the country, and that's the only way to advertize properly. The newspaper ads never seemed to be enough. So whoever organized this one, with their 3 or 4 signs, and 2 ads, and going 6am-2pm (???), didn't do much else in terms of signage. And I can't blaim them, because it was so time consuming to do what I did. But, I would always reap the benefits, and people were out looking for me today, but we did not put much out. My daughter hung out mostly with the young neighbor next door. We leisurely got out there about 8:30.

When I do a yard sale I go all out w/signs... I got tired of doing all the work and no one contributing anything, so I just do them for myself now. However, it was nice to see more homes out there today....although it was the common kids' toys and clothing and not much else. One home had a great , old Corona typewriter w/case, but it was not cheap enough for me.

Oh, yeah, the sale goes tomorrow also. Who is waking up before 6 am on a Sunday, especially in an area with a gazillion churches?

Lara acepted into Photography Program!!!

2010-05-20T11:29:00.004-04:00

All photos copyrighted- c LA-G 2010

A necklace in our Etsy shop, by me and Alex. I designed and made the pendant, and Alex did the jumprings, etc. Beautiful vintage button and bead on vintage bobbin. You can see it here.

I knew she would be accepted. My middle child takes photos even when everyone yells at her to get away from their unwashed faces...hahaha...a true photographer. I hope she enjoys herself and does well. She has a few very nice photographers in the family on both sides. One is actually known in photography departments at universities. Pretty cool.

She's transferring from a local college into a very nice program at a university in a neighboring state...baby steps. And there is reciprocity so she gets in state tuition. YooHoo! One day she will actually have a degree, I pray...and actually do something with it. OOps! ended a sentence in a preposition...hahaha...as if I haven't done that here before:) Someone upstairs wants this girl to graduate college. Let's just say that testing is not her forte. That goes for many other people in this world as well. She is definitely watched over and guided from above!

Hope this finds you guided from above as well:)

Some Belated Easter Food Pictures...Look and drool

2010-05-06T14:53:00.003-04:00

Some belated pictures of Kulich (Russian sweet bread), and Cheese/'Sirnaya' Paskha. The XB stands for Khristos Voskresye/Christ is Risen.

PS- It is even more delicious than it looks!

PPS- Getting ready for Greenfest this weekend. Never enough time to create everything that I want to for shows. And I still feel the urge to not stop- except for our home situation with my husband and his ill health, which, by the way, looks to be on the up and up. Amazing man.

Some Birthday Pics. from the 14th

2010-04-20T09:48:00.005-04:00

The wall of aged paper products. Love the faded crepe paper.
How cool is this? The juxtaposition of the birthday celebration to Crawford's:) Love the bleeding hearts. Adorable wrapping paper. Gifts from Sevan. She makes it all so special. Always.
A dish full of kit kats and other chocolates. Ken will love these. The cat almost looks real.haha
I kid you not. The ladies who work here are the sweetest.
Yup. Spaghetti and live bait. How complete is that? When you live in the country, a place like Crawford's has character and inexpensive food,...the charm of the country. I love it!

5 and 3 makes me...and Happy 3rd B-day Misha!

2010-04-14T23:17:00.007-04:00

Misha loves koshki (kitties) like I do.
A tiny earring missing its mate painted years ago by Tania, which I mounted on a vintage button.
What a plesant birthday day:) Photos hopefully to follow.

First, cake in bed with gifts. 2 soldering irons, stands, and bits, oh lucky me:). Then a turn around carousel with little containers to hold little things- just waiting for my studio to be complete.

Then lunch with Sevan at Crawfords-"Confectionary,Guns, and Ammo" ...hahaha...no kidding.She had a vase of pink bleeding hearts, and a large dish with kitty, candles, and pastel wrapped kit-kats...and a few cool, collaged cards, full of kitties, and vintage finds from her thrifting, which included a most unusual find of vintage sheer curtain fabric on a Roll with the original tissue paper!!!

Found some beautiful faded crepe paper for a steal- must have been in that same location for about 20-30 years, just waiting for little ole' me to come along and snatch them up. Fabulous faded apple green, faded red, beige, dark green, and pale blue. Then in their cabinets I found a vintage/new clasp coin wallet, and a vintage /new mitten, furry powder puff to embelish. What a Hoot!

Then I went into a local Borders to check out the new French General book, which has beautiful layout and photos, but not inspirational enough for me to buy. Hit a couple of tiny goodies in Michaels. Picked up some Carabbas (sp?) caesar salad for dinner and came home. Lara was with hubby all day, along with visits from the nurse's aid and the PT.

Then Lara made a perfect angus steak on the grill, and Alex made yummy roast potatoes. Both perfect with the salad. How nice was that? Sevan brought the yummy steak, thinking that I wouldn't think of it, which was correct, so it was perfect.

And Serge won his tennis match. So far he is 6 and 2 I believe. He hates me talking about his wins as #1 singles. Beats out a lot of seniors, etc., and him being a freshman- neat.

And the day started out with 3, count them, 3 wrong numbers! One of them at 4:30 in the morning!!! Ken made me a card with Larissa's help, and did a great job in physical therapy, sitting up and all.

And my new Somerset Studio came, so I can have something to peruse when going to bed. Cool! And gorgeous weather all day long. It's great when you don't expect much, and you get surprized with very nice.:)

Hope you had a great day! Later Alligator!

Spring has Sprung!

2010-04-12T21:39:00.009-04:00

Some things that one might find inside my garage.
Beautiful, simple flowers ....brought inside to adorn our kitchen.

I love flowers! Show me more!
What!!! You what???!!!
I don't believe it. I'm hiding out.
You what? Kept him in a bassinet? And he had my name?
I am not believing what I am hearing!
I can't believe you would do that!
All right, put 'em up. Put up your dukes!Eh, I'm a headless grape stem, running from the kitty putter in the bassinet kid!.....

.....What was in my garage? This old key chain purse from my step-grandmother.So I took these keys out of it to make into jewelry.

This is what the case looks like now. It was falling apart, don't worry. I cut the top off and will do something to the bottom as well.EHHH!!!!! She dressed up her kitty in doll clothing!!!!!Help! Help!!!

Spring has sprung so you must Plant Your Seeds.
Some yummy smelling sachets. I went to Roostervane for my herbs, dried them, and filled up these vintage pics that I transferred onto old linen. Is it just me, or does her little hand look odd on her Mama's chest? haha
A little book with great paper. Gentleman kitty entices you in to draw upon the pages, or to place your poetic words upon the tiny pages.One of the outside covers of these tiny books. A good reminder.

The back of one, the cover on another.
Kitties and more kitties, and some Russian book pages to top it all off, like a flower pot with flowers...
So our days at home with Ken can get rather hectic. He is doing better. We revel in the baby steps. He's got an indoor garden that his bud , Jeff gave to him, and he is enjoying it. It's got heating pads, and a lid/terrarium style. Remember the terrariums we used to make , Barb?

Clearing out the garage, maybe a garage sale in the near future. Either way the garage is a mess.I want to work on everything , as I uncover it! ~...Victorian cat bed for the kitties, cool, old hamper for my studio, a new/old rattan basket shelf for my bedroom, old mirrors to paint and sell, great , old frames I got from an auction I'd love to gesso up and collage or/and paint, a fab. pink Victorian changing table with horse hair still in the mattress.....What do you have in your garage???

Taxes for us, Alex finished hers and is getting a refund, and L's needs to be done. She is working on her portfolio to transfer to a very good local college. She wants to major in photography. Her great uncle was quite an accomplished one, and still commands an audience in the photography world. Hope she makes the program.Nothing like a deadline to make everyone get into high gear!

I've got a show coming up, and shops to bring artwork to, and more papers to fill out. Will it never end???

Hope that this post finds you stirring around in the world, trying to make the best of what life has to offer. Our time here is so very short. Surprises can throw us way off, but we just' gotta put on our big girl panties.

My brother, who lives abroad, came for Easter, then came again after visiting my other 2 siblings. He brought his son who is only a little older than mine. They had such a nice time together. Cousins are great. I knew and loved mine growing up. People were always jealous of me that I knew my cousins and we loved one another so very much. Still do! Love you couz's!!!!hahaha...Miss you too!

Here's something different.

I will list 5 obscure things about me from my past:

1) I was a reading fiend in elementary school, and would read about 200-300 books a year. On Fridays, library day, I would bring a grocery bag to school. After school, I would go to the library and check out about another 15-17 books. I came in second in the year long reading contest. The one who read a couple of books more than me was the superintendent's daughter, Sue Ellen A.. Anyway, while walking home late, I worried that people would see me and think that I had to stay after school because I was in trouble, and that they didn't know that I was going home late because I was at the library picking out books! What things a youngster frets about! My Mom would call me down to dinner and I would say,"OK,Mom, just another minute!" Of course, she had to constantly call me because I would take forever, devouring every book, not wanting to stop reading.

2) I would er, find some 'extra money, er, around my Mom's purse, um, and go to the deli to buy ham to feed stray cats. Did I say that??? You won't find me near anyone's anything! Honesty is definitely strongly in me now, bigtime. I was little folks.

3) I used to dress my cat, Kiska, in a baby bassinet covered with a blanket. I would give a little 'tap' if he tried to get out. I dressed him in my doll clothing!!! That's probably why I am so very nice to kitties and all animals now. Retribution. I was probably a toddler when I did this. Cats and dogs just seem to gravitate to me now. I give them space and, hey, maybe I should try that with my kids.....nah.....in their face---hahaha just joking. I am better about giving them their space as they mature. But being a Mom, you never stop caring and worrying.

4) Coming home from elementary school one day, the first house across the street from the school had a little yappy dog.I meowed to him, and he came tearing out at me , barking his head off as if he was going to bite me. I had to think quickly, so I started to bark, "ruff, ruff", I said. Hahaha, they were such lousy little ruffs, no puppy dog sound. But, hey, quess what? It worked. He went scampering off. Oh, Lucky me:)

5) One time when my parents were out, as a teenager, I, with my sister and a couple of friends, got inside the dining room buffet table to some 4-5 year old Russian cigarettes to try smoking. Well, Russian cigarettes in Soviet times would kill you! No filters on those babies- good and old, stale, and horribly atrocious!!!! Talk about cough city, and almost barf city!!! What great memories,hahaha.

What have you been up to? What little secrets are you harboring inside that little head of yours.hahahaha

XPUCTOC BOCKPECbE ! Christ is Risen ! Holy Paskha...

2010-04-04T17:50:00.006-04:00

Spring.Old and new.

The light between the trees.
Shadows in the light.
Heart in hand.
Seeds about to fall.
Kitty on a shoulder. White tipped paws.Hamming with the Man. Alex...

Tulip. My favorite flower, along with Lilacs and their all encompassing aroma thatI cannot get enough of...dangling prepositions...Beauty in the everyday.

...transpose me to another new beginning.
BO UCTUHY BOCKPECbE!!! Truly he is Risen!

My brother John and his son were able to join us for Easter Midnite service and Agape breakfast. We didn't get home 'til 4:45am. Then had to take care of Ken after Alex went to bed. (Alex stayed home with him). Got to bed about 5:30 am.

Today is a lazy day. No fuss in foods, because they are already done. Awaiting our lamb, rice, and peas- a family favorite growing up. No fuss, no muss. Just stick about 11 cloves of garlic into the lamb. Absolutely nothing else. Make a nice gravy, and season on the table. Just fabulous.

New beginnings, rays of light trekking through my window,

approaching the windowsill,

careening around the moulding,

wanting to sit upon my shoulder.

I creep trepediciously,

being guided everyday, the whole way.

Life.

XB! .......BB!

Nicholas

2010-03-28T20:12:00.003-04:00

Nicholas is a one-of-a-kind painted folk art doll. Now in my ETSY shop.

We're Here to Pump You UP!!!!!

2010-03-25T11:13:00.003-04:00

Beautiful flower in our garden. Our soil is so good for flowers. The challenge is keeping things from getting overgrown....from encroaching upon the gorgeous flowers that we get. Ken always loved to bring flowers to people at work. Now I am sure that Alex will."We're here to pump you Up!!! Ken with Ryan at the White House in the late 80's/early 90's for Arnold's Great American Workout, which he did for a few years before this governor thing.Bush Sr. was there at the time. That's Kevin Nealon from SNL. Ryan was the top tennis junior in wheeelchair tennis at the time. Now he's a Dr..
He looks so peaceful here, snuggled up with Alex.
Have a GREAT DAY!!!!! Ken's working on his goal setting.

Paskha approaching, and Kippy, Kip Kippurrs in Memorium

2010-03-23T19:09:00.004-04:00

The crown. I want to glitter-ify it. Serge says no. So then we thought that kippy would look good in it.

Did I ever tell you how I used to dress up my kitty, when I was little. Very little. I put a towel over a bassinet and kept my kitty under it dressing him up. Poor kitty. He was so good. I was naughty. Even tapped the towel if he wanted out. That's probably why I'm so good to them now.:)
So Easter is fast approaching and it will soon be time to make this most yummiest of desserts, the prized Best Cheese Paskha in all the land.:)...sorry, facts are just facts,really I am not boasting, this is Lent you know.
My gorgeous Mr. Kippurrs. Isn't he beautiful? He passed away last 4 August.We had this idea of letting him wear the crown that I found antiquing somewhere. Obviously, he didn't want to be royal like at the moment.

What do you think?

Ken Update, and Vintage Finds around the house...

2010-03-10T10:42:00.003-05:00

Found this old mannequin hand at a tiny little antique shop in Sharpsburg. Sweet to show off Alex's vintage rings at shows.
My office where I post from. Love my Mac!
Below, another great find with some little figurines walking out of the picture- or so I'd like to think:) This is a sweet oil painting by the yard sale owner's brother. What tremendous finds I found at that place! After her mother had passed her fantastic 1800's home sold so many wonderful treasures! The house was a cascade of unending stairs, rooms, baby grand pianos, etc. What a treat. That was about 8 years ago near where we used to live. The house sold for a very pretty penny.

I am not a 'barn' collector, but love the subtle hues in this oil painting.

Jeff, Ken's longtime,HS tennis team chum, accepting the Courage Award from the Mid-Atlantic Tennis and Education Foundation on Ken's behalf. At this event, local boy made good (on circuit w/the likes of Sampras,etc...), Paul Goldsten, (as well as 3 other individuals for their tennis contributions) was inducted into their Tennis Hall of Fame. Paul is such a lovely individual. Paul used to play at the club where hubby taught/was Dir. of Junior Tennis, and where Jeff still Directs the Tennis Dept..
Roses from Gammaflowers.com, at the tennis tournament for Ken. 5 days fresh from Ecuador! And The Succars, who own gammaflowers gifted us the same for our kitchen table. They are in the beautiful crystal vase given to Ken with the Courage Award.

...hahaha, and we have Paul Goldstein's box for the crystal vase. They mixed them up when we were leaving the Army Navy Country Club in Va. at the awards ceremony...which , by the way, was a very nice event. The mini crab cakes in the cocktail hour were devine, and the meal and everything else was so very nicely done.

Ken's Mom was able to come , too, which was very nice.
More about these events and Ken's life are at my other blog for him. Friends/family , just leave me a comment, email or call, if you have lost the link to his blog, as it is not connected here.

Thanx. xo Lydia

Some Cool Pics Saturday..............

2010-02-20T18:33:00.003-05:00

One of Lara's neat nature shots.(c.LAG 2010)
Sevan found this cool call me telephone for my business cards. It also has a spot for a pen. Too cute, don't you think?

So Lara gave me my Christmas, Russian Christmas, birthday, and Mother's Day gift wrapped up all in one gift back in October I believe. It is a neat 1800's folk art dresser, which inspires me to create just looking at it. These 2 shots show some of its adorable 'Beauty and the Beast' (as Sevan says) aspects.(mess on the floor was from when we were cleaning it up upon bringing it into the house)...
What do you think? Cool pics or what?

Calling all One World One Heart Winners...

2010-02-16T20:29:00.005-05:00

Hello Ladies (and Gentlemen). Thank you for visiting in my blog giveaway..................Calling all winners,

#1 Peace print of my original collage painting

Rebecca at Cre8tiva's Blog

#2 Magic is in the Air print of my original collage painting

Tumbleweed Trails

#3 Painted Furniture & Fabric Photos Books

Lolly at Lolly's Nest Egg

#4 Red Glitter Star

Bluebeard and Elizabeth at Altered Book Lover

Hope you all enjoy your wins! Visiting so many blogs in such a short period of time is certainly a Magic Carpet Ride! And for the winners, look for a little vintage magic carpet in your win:)hahaha

I look forward to visiting many blogs again . Nice to meet you all!

Sorry...winners to be posted tomorrow instead of 2/15

2010-02-16T01:33:00.002-05:00

Hubby needed attention that took me away from my choosing the winners. Please forgive, but will post tomorrow-(which is now today:) )

Lydia

OWOH is now officially closed on this blog

2010-02-15T20:56:00.003-05:00

Winners will be chosen before midnight. Thank you all for stopping by and for all your wonderful comments. It's been such a pleasure meeting so many of you.

I will try to get to all, but my husband is home after being in the hospital for 2 months, and there is much work to be done to help him.

One World One Heart-an international blogging event

2010-02-07T20:42:00.009-05:00

Lisa Swifka of A Whimsical Bohemian has done it again! In 2007 she created the One World One Heart Event. It brings bloggers from around the world together. These bloggers may never have ordinarily met, and this event is a super fun event to meet others all around the world. I joined OWOH last year , and had so much fun, that I decided to participate again:).

Here's how to participate. Just leave a comment to this blog post below to be eligible to win. You must have a way to link back to your blog or leave an email address so that you can be contacted if you win any of my 4 giveaways.

This giveaway is open to active bloggers. If you are interested in joining, just click on the OWOH badge in this post or in the side bar to find out how to join . This event ends on Mon., 15 February, and I will close my comments section at 8:00pm EST in order to be able to go to the random generator to pick the winners. I will announce the winners of my giveaways by the end of the night on 15 February.

Let's have fun on this Magic Carpet Ride event!!! Welcome to my blog. I look forward to getting to know many of you:).

..........................................................................................................................................................................

Giveaway #1. this is a print of my original painting/collage. The print measures 8"x6 3/4".( The print will not have the copyright written across .)
Giveway #2. This is a print of my original painting/collage, Magic is in the Air. It measures 7"x7".Giveaway #3. This is the 2 books listed below, encompassing the following 4 pictures. The 1st picture is in the painted furniture book.

This is a page from the Fabric Photos book.

Remember that these 2 books are Giveaway #3.

Giveaway #4. Thius is a red glitter star ornament/hanging with a beautiful flower and vintage cream ceramic bird. (Sorry for the dark lighting). It measures 9 1/2" x 9 1/2 ".

Remember to leave a comment to this blog post below to try and win one of my 4 giveaways. Thanks for stopping by:).

Lydia

Etsy Shop is Open!...and new Flickr pics are in

2010-02-07T00:13:00.007-05:00

So Alex and I finally opened up the Lydia, Oh, Lydia! Art Etsy shop. Just click here to see more.

Royal Hoot Necklace now in the shop repurposed by Alex. The flower is vintage.
Vintage terrier box now in the shop. This is a vintage piece, as stated, but I decided to add more depth of interest by painting around the terrier decal w/a nice apple green paint, then age and distress it .
Vintage alligator belt. This came from my home. We used to wear it when younger. A very unique piece. Pardon the hair in the photo.
Cool blue stone like glass pendant on long vintage chain by Alex, now in the shop.
OK- This is simply stunning. It is from my Mom's house. It is a mother-of-pearl squiggly, moving fish, with some scallop trim, and another vintage bauble piece on a long vintage chain. They don't come any nicer than this. In the shop now.Hallie Charm Bracelet now in the shop. It is vintage and new repurposed by Alex. The aqua blue flower is from a vintage earring set.

Vintage altered measuring tape with vintage pictures on one side, and matching verse on the other. The pictures are from old postcards. They are now in the shop. These are definitely very cool, and so very useful! One-of-a-kind of course.
Gentleman Kitty on Block now in the shop.Inspiration Heart Pinkeep now in the shop.

So what do you do when you get 24-30 inches of snow? Shovel? haha...of course, at least 4-5x a day, and it snowed for almost 2 whole new days. Well, finally get off the bottom side to very 'patiently' upload photos of items for sale in Etsy.

I haven't made the new banner that I have in my head for months now. And if it weren't for Alex,. this might not have gotten done today. Since Larissa modeled the jewelry, we decided that today was as good a day as any to get things moving on the shop. Because of the weather, the internet wanted to be , should I say STUPID??? Ok, so we listed 5 of my items, and 5 of Alex's.

We are slowly learning things. Have to contact PayPal with some questions, but they are closed.

We want to join One World One Heart, and hope that we can make it in time for the 8 Feb. deadline-that, along with a gazillion other things,...

... and our 24 hr. care of hubby/their dad by all of us. How nice is it to have your entire family at your beck and call? He is tired, and catching up on needed sleep. Of course , we are stuffing him with all his favorite goodies, as much as possible. And he loves his Lingonberry juice from Ikea!

My Butterfly Catcher...and getting ready for Ken

2010-01-30T14:59:00.003-05:00

This was taken at the vet's office a few months back. Puma is just hangin' out on Lara's back. She waited about 10 min. like this, just so that the doctor and staff could see it. They couldn't stop laughing.So we are cleaning up getting ready for Ken. His kidneys seem to have stabilized, at least for the time being, and his anemia is ever so slowly stabilizing with the once a week shots, and when they first put him on the appetite stimulant he wanted to eat everything, and participated more in therapy. But, since about the last week or so, he hasn't been eating well. He's hydrated well for the moment, and so the Dr. upped his appetite stimulant. This has increased his energy and puffed out his face a tiny bit, but he has dropped a bit of weight- that's why the increase in the appetite stimulant.

But, I think that he needs to come home. I think that he's had enough of all this up and down. He'll either do better at home, or relax and all is in God's hands. It will no doubt be too much to handle, but that is the least that we can do for him to make him comfortable. We are thinking that he may sleep a lot. There is a lot of noise in the hospital...and so much activity. The young man on the other side of the room has a lot of nice friend's laughing which is good and nice, but Ken needs it more quiet.After a few days , if he keeps plugging away, yet it becomes too much to handle, then he will go into a skilled nursing facility, or some such place.

But, I have to do what I have to do, because no one else is in my shoes. I know that I would want to get the hell out of the hospital, and get home.

Today is quite beautiful outside. We have had an unexpected snow that is just breath taking. But, I understand that the roads are a bit precarious, so we are fine just tinkering away in the home, cleaning, organizing,etc..

Also, I may be moving info about Ken to another site. If you, family and friends, don't see anything, just write me for the link. Many of you already have my email, but an email is listed under my blog profile---so just click view profile, and you will see the link to my email.

Kiska keeps leading me to the basement...and more on Ken

2010-01-18T14:38:00.011-05:00

Before picture...
After... (Just click to enlarge)...
Isn't this little one below ugly??hahaha...looks like she's wearing a Dr. Denton. She is painted over fabric, and her face is just awful, and her head is pointy- ah, well, it is good to laugh at one's creations...
Mini folkart paintings...

...sorry for the glare.

Alex's repurposed old and new jwelry, a couple of pieces...the gold button on the left, when alone as a button, is not so pretty I think, but I like the way she puts it together. (Sorry, not the greatest shot).
...this is better...
Some bags, (mostly from prints of original artwork)...

Some cards, (mostly from prints of original artwork)...

Futsy little sketches from some years back, that I made into tiny cards...I didn't like them when I 'scribbled', but I like them on these tiny scallopped cards.
Alex made this into a card, from my print.
Alex made these adorable ceramic squares that were magnetized.
A work in progress mini podium. It will have sturdy crepe paper fringe sewn edging. The base is an old piece that Ken cut for me.
The tight rope walker...
A Bilibin print that I will put onto this old transportaion ledger. I love Ivan Bilibin. Look him up. He illustrated so many Russian fairy tale books from the beginning of the 20th century. His work is phenomenal.
Vintage flower pics awaiting there journals. Simple in between the not so simple. Just pretties.
Nicholas is yet missing his school books. Painted over fabric.
So they started to give hubby an appetite stimulant. It's about time! Megase. He even wants to eat the blanket! He's piling in the calories, and building up energy. They said that he was participating more...as he had slacked off since the other hospital w/the severe anemia. He is not at the transfusion point, and his hematocrit and hemoglobin keep inching up, which is good.

His sister Debbie came to town with her wonderful son, Steven, and they took over for the weekend, giving me a break from the driving and letting me putz. I need so much putz-ing, that's for sure. But, of course I miss him every day and will be seeing him again today.....

After applying for disability benefits for Ken, I received a phone call that I would get paid for observing the students for 3 days. ??? It seems that HR forgot to tell me that I was chosen for the long term French/Spanish sub. position for which I had applied in OCt/NOv. I thought that it wasn't meant to be.. Of course this is needed, and will get my foot more in the door. I pray that the kids are good, that I can leave my day behind when I leave the school, and that the salary is better than expected.

OK- So for the last 1 1/2 to 2 years, Kiska, the head kitty around here, keeps asking me to go into the basement with him all the time. For example, this a.m. he asked to go downstairs, and so I called Serge to call him down. But, No, he wants me, always me. So for all this time, every time that he asks me to go downstairs, I feel as if he is leading me to work in the studio area, to get it up and running. Sound crazy? haha.

He was heaven sent, this 'little' kitty, when 6, count 'em, six doctors told me to forget about cats while my oldest tested positive for severe kitty cat allergies. Get a dog, I was told, even from cat loving doctors. Well, Kiska came to us in a snow storm with a severe laceration to his left paw down to the muscle, the size of a large lemon. We brought him to the vet, and searched for his family, but found noone. He ended up with us, and we were ecstatic about it. Alex is fine with himand other kitties. Just a few sniffles, if she is away from them, for about a day.

He goes to the one who is hurting or crying, even overnite visitors, and is truly an angel sent from above. So, I so very strongly feel, that he is pushing me to work down there . We don't even know about our home situation at this point, but are trusting in the man upstairs to steer us in the right direction, as we have always been steered. And even though this is not the time to be talking about scrounging around to put up walls, or using our home depot gift cards to purchase sheetrock, etc, I still get the strongest feeling that that is what I am supposed to do- even if it is in baby steps.

Mind you, I am just barely keeping things clean at this point, so, no, I will not drop everything to work in the basement. But, we all need vegge time, putz time, to clear the mind, to rejuvenate our spirit. For some it is gardening, for others, it is bike riding, and for us gals, it is being creative in some fashion, organizing, and cleaning, planning.

A girl's gotta' dream, right??? I am thankful that I am letting my mind think about other things just a little bit. But, mostly I just wake up crying or thinking of things to be thankful for, because the momentum can just get a bit overwhelming at times. All in God's time.

Have a great day.

xo Lydia

Ok- so we gals were in the kitchen painting, creating etc...

PS-

2010-01-11T21:24:00.001-05:00

Alex just spoke to Ken and he said that he was feeling much better. Maybe it's all my phone calls and questions finally getting action....the job of my life.

A Bird's Nest Scale, and a shot of Epogen....

2010-01-11T20:39:00.003-05:00

OK- up, down, wah, wah, wah....He lost more weight. Even with a sitter at the other hospital he lost weight. For us he eats plenty and is interested in food, but for others, well, they don't keep at him like we do. Problem is, we cannot be there 24/7.

They weighed him in a scale that picked him up as if he were in a bird's nest, a quilted bird's nest. His hematocrit and hemoglobin were getting better slowly, but then the hematocrit went down again a little, and so they finally ordered him the Epogen, which helps to build the red blood cells. It takes a while, and is given once a week.

He wants to do better, to eat and drink more, and they assist him, but he says that it isn't enough. He talks in 'maybes', and 'I don't knows' a lot. He's not quite sure about things because he can't always find the exact words that he wants to use to describe what he is thinking, and so it comes out with these fuzzy 'maybe' and 'don't know' words.

Good things. I finally spoke to a Dr. who is not a weekend resident(as his doctor is out for the week), and things are getting done. And the nursing coordinator is great, and is very conscientious. She ALWAYS gets things done. Halleluyah!

I pray that he gets strong- enough to come home. His cognizance is way better every day. He saw The Mummy was to be playing on one channel. We usually keep things like Disney, cartoons, or simple , light movies, if he wants to watch TV. So when he mentioned that he noticed it was coming on, we turned it on for him. That, is progression. We are fine with the baby steps. He told me that he is not ready to 'leave us'. He was quite adamant about this. I said 'great'! Now if we can just fatten him up a good 20+ lbs. , he'll be strong enough to have more therapy, that can bring him home to us.

Now this is what I call snow!!!

2010-01-09T21:36:00.002-05:00

I had to show these. Look how gorgeous it is. This is my brother, his beautiful wife, and their adorable youngest- who was born on my b-day almost 3 yrs. ago..

I love snow.

This is what I call natural beauty. What kind of snow do you like?

The Stroke Whisperer

2010-01-09T01:38:00.004-05:00

So hubby had to be taken off blood thinners for a short time, because of bleeding issues. He was again a bit dehydrated, and this made it worse for him and his kidneys. He got back into his therapy after this lapse, but is anemic now, and this must be rectified, or he may end up in the hospital across the street(which is connected by a bridge). This we do not want, so prayers are surely needed that what they will try to get his iron levels back on track will work.

Any complications get him further down the line for the possibility of coming home, which is what he wants. The less medicines that he is on, the more goal oriented that he is.Paperwork, work, family life, etc. is upon us, and travel is constant.

I am thankful for so many things. I am thankful for the good friends that God has placed in my life, Ken's life, and our children's lives. This work is difficult, and we pray that God's will be done.

Thank you for all your support, emails, kind words and phone calls. If I cannot get back to you, understand that it is probably some imminent medical matter, or logistics taking place, and now is a time for priorities. But, your continued support and prayers are so very important to us, and I thank you for them.

xo Lydia

ps- Many of you know that I was raised bi-lingually, and dabble in a couple of languages- well, ok, more than a couple. I can now add the Stroke language to my list. It is amazing to start to figure out things that seem non-sensical, to actually mean some very important things. Ken will find replacement words, when he cannot think of the 'proper' word. When you just replace maybe 1 word or concept, everything makes all the sense in the world. It is just that because of different mental states due to the physical body, fatigue, medicines, and the constant filing going on in the brain, it just may come out a little disjointed at times.

I am amazed at his intellect, at the same time that I want to take this all away from him. I am sorry that he is going through this, but it is all in God's hands now. Have Mercy on us Lord.

Goodnite.

What's around my bathroom...and Ken update

2010-01-03T22:01:00.007-05:00

My Dad's vintage Mennen(sp?) powder tin(tiny traveling size),vintage Scottie w/fun pen, old animal tin, metal Puss-n-Boots.
Some things around/in my bathroom....(click to enlarge, but please excuse any dust...hahaha)....enamel polka dot pitcher, vintage lustre ware creamer(hard to see),...

I love this mirror. It is wrapped in an embroidered , cushioned fabric, and I keep my pins in it. I just LOVE this!

Vintage , tiny metal bead, cats playing badminton game, old planter...
Vintage cowgirl chalkware, antique baby booties.....
Old Russian tin circus toy, my Dad's toy-his old hand carved lion(he also had other hand carved animals), our wedding picture...
Old hand made jointed squirrel, old Russian perfume containers...

A shelf above the toilet... better picture of old Russian perfume containers, vintage paper mache kitty head, sheet spray, and Scottie picture frame, which is still missing my & my sister's Halloween picture from trick-or-treating while little.
Planter- this vintage baby was sold at one of one last shows...out w/the old, in with the new...
Jackie Over(artist) cat, old abacus...old mint powder puff box...this set is on a shelf above my tub...Vintage chicks picture in cute little frame.

...the howling dog, seems to always land in our bathroom, no matter which house... hand painted folkart piece...

Ken needed to be hydrated again, and had to be removed from the low dosage blood thinner he was on,...things are getting better, and they are not putting him on all the meds. right away... good to see what causes a few things, by taking things slowly. He was petting the air. One of the meds. still causes some visions for him. He told me that he was petting his cats. Then he told me that he missed his cats.He was possessive using "my cats"....and the kitties miss him too.

Goodnite:)

New Year's Eve Update...

2009-12-31T13:09:00.006-05:00

Baby steps...and we'll take them! He is better balanced, and had lots of smile provoking company this week.:) The hospital staff is amazing. They go out of their way to help in so many ways, and to connect , in so many ways.The medicines are a balancing act. I know that I would not like so many meds. in my body. So with each medicine removal, I am pleased.

He was blessed by an Orthodox priest from a local church who just happened to be in the hospital blessing one of his parishioners who had been in a bad car accident right before Thanksgiving.After being sleepy all day, when Fr. came into the room, he sat upright and gave his hand. He was instantly wide awake. The icon he was blessed with is from the 700's,(yes, you read that corrrectly! ) and it is their patron icon. It has performed miracles here & in Russia. It had been preserved here during the war(s), and now visits Russia for one month a year. It is beautiful and very heavy, besides being ancient.He thanked Fr. at the end, and said that he appreciated it:).These are truly little miracles that run deep.

I hope that he will be able to come home after the rehab. hospital. He is learning much, and needs prompting at times, and the meds make him feel so tired, but as a learned neuro-onc. friend recently told me, as long as he progresses, there's no reason to think that he won't continue to progress-no matter how long that it takes:) xo Lydia

Amazing Walking and an Awake Christmas...

2009-12-27T14:29:00.004-05:00

So Christmas Eve showed Ken to be tired out from all the therapy. But Christmas Day he was wide awake and enjoying his company! Therapy has been pushing him to walk hundreds of steps w/the walker... and they want him to start going up and down steps.

He has had a potassium issue here and there, which they feel is related to his chemo. They are adjusting medicines.

Thank you for all your support and prayers. He told me yesterday that he was feeling a bit better- this is a first, where he offered up this information.

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukah!

xo Lydia

Starting to want to get back to some artwork, as it helps to balance me. Shifting gears for me is still a bit of work. ..as my focus has been on Ken, the kids,home......later alligator:)

Rehab. Hosp. for Brain Injury/Stroke

2009-12-21T19:57:00.002-05:00

Came to Rehab. Hosp. on Fri. Dr. said he was better than he thought. The problem , he thinks, will be Ken thinking that he can do more than he can- ie- physically able to do, but, balance is an issue. They are also changing some meds.. He now has his permanent Occupational, Physical, and Speech Language Therapists.

He is bathing himself, brushing his teeth, sitting up, standing, getting in a chair, and wheel chair. Since he taught wheelchair tennis, he has been in a wheel chair before. He originally sat in one and played tennis in one to see how to approach his wheel chair students. He also has taught soldiers at Walter Reed, as well as other wheel chair students. He coached the top wheel chair junior in wheel chair tennis, who was also the first wheel chair doctor to graduate from Yale Medical School. An amazing individual who has inspired many. Now, maybe Ken can inspire him. (:) xo R.)

Much to do. Christmas is upon us. Tree should be going up tomorrow. Things are moving along. We are happy to have Ken 'home' for Christmas. Being in the rehab. hospital is home for us- as this all happened out of state, the day after T-day. Now, we are just a drive away.

Thank you God. ...just one miracle after another. Thank you. I pray for many more.

xo Lydia

PS- my hubby is amazing, and keeps progressing each and every day. All vision, all moving body parts. His sometimes intricate speaking about how he feels is astounding, and he was concerned for a tournament that he does at the club after Christmas. He said that he had to call this guy, Dave. It has been done already- but just that he can drag this out from his memory is truly amazing.

Rehab Here We Come!

2009-12-17T23:10:00.002-05:00

Closer to getting him home. He has a ways to go, and transporting him has its risks.

Thank you all for your emails, texts, comments,cards, music, prayers, warm thoughts, visualizations feelings of inspiration(xo-NH) ..... :)

He walked w/the walker, then sat up in a recliner for over an hour. He is concerned about his clothing for transfer, and I know he misses everyone.He thanked the neurologist,(and told him that he appreciated his help) ,who I really liked since the ER. We have been so very blessed. And this latest unit is so excited for him moving to rehab. They have had him for a week and a half and have come to know him.

So he's been here for 3 weeks! Hope the snow is no problem. Should be . Leaving in am, and snow coming in pm.

Much to do. Goodnite.

xo Lydia

Working on getting into rehab for Christmas...

2009-12-16T23:29:00.004-05:00

So things have been moving rather quickly. We have the most unbelieveable social worker working on our behalf for discharge. We are praying to move Ken by Friday. The nurses have to log his progress . This progress has impressed so many of them. He has a long way to go, but he surprises the heck out of us daily.

I cannot even write about so much that happens. I sometimes walk so quickly everywhere, notebook always in hand. I have to charge my cell phone at least 2 times a day. I think that the battery gets drained from being in the hospital.The nurses and aides in this unit are just plain great. They so want the best for Ken and us.His physical therapist even came in extra today, when she said that she would be in tomorrow. Yesterday he stood up 3 times with a walker, and kept working on holding his head up. In bed he sometimes sits up.

But, today, oh my!...His wakefulness is greater each day. Even the nurses and aids are noticing sooo much more and are so very excited.He wants to get better. He wants to get home. He wants to work at doing the best for him. Sometimes he is tired, and yesterday he told me that he 'has his weak days'. He worked with his legs so well today with Candice, the physical therapist. She is so motivated to work with him.

He is talking more with the doctors, and the nurses have to log EVERYTHING for the doctors to see. We have to remind everyone. He talks with us for hours. We've been watching Christmas movies, cartoons, etc.. We play music- Leo Kotke of course, and relaxing Christmas and piano music. It is usually too sedate for him, but right now it seems to be good for him, and it is relaxing for me and his family.

He is taking his Protocel 2x a day, and we are progressing towards the 4x a day. I have used Rescue Remedy spray and cream. The cream has speeded up his recovery on his bottom, which was so very tender-ouch! It has remedied in just a few days almost entirely. Hope that it continues. They also gave a different medicine. Even the nurses started to use the cream, as they saw that after so much time he just was getting worse. You cannot believe the recovery rate.

I also credit the Protocel for his more rapid healing. They have even asked us to bring in foods for him, as he needs to eat more, or they will have to put the nasal feeder back in. So he asked for fruit cocktail! He's been eating mashed potatoes with butter and gravy, spinach, ice cream, chocolate pudding, pears, peaches, ice tea, juices, and nutritional drinks. They are counting his calories. He only started to eat this past weekend after not eating for over 2 weeks -except for 1 time with the speech therapist when he had a little applesauce and ice cream.

So, tonite he actually started to 'argue', (in a very subdued way):)!!!! When he does these things, we look at each other , give thumbs up, and smile broadly. You know, starting to argue means you are feeling better. hahaha ...and today he started his foot movement. He does this when he is getting ready for something. He is a foot 'wagger'. It was great to see this come back as well.

He also couldn't get comfy in bed. Also a big thumbs up! It is because he is feeling better and way more aware, remembering more every day!!! He thinks that the whole situation is weird, and I would too if I were in his shoes. He does not like being in the bed, because he is so awake and aware.(smile, smile, big thumbs up!!!:) ).

His situation is still very precarious, this we know. But, as long as he wants to get better and progress, we will give him the best environment possible for him to heal and feel better. Statistics, shmatistics, there is nothing to do but support him!

If I do not post in a while, know that the pace is so very hectic. A change will no doubt produce a host of other challenges. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. I know that we cannot predict the future, but God is directing the show, and I can do nothing less than to make the most positive environment for him no matter what.

Good night and God Bless.

ps- I have been speaking in Russian and Spanish to him at times. He speaks and understands both. He responded in Spanish, and used some Russian words as well. Gotta' stimulate the left side of his brain!

"How are you getting me there?"...and meanderings of my mind...

2009-12-13T23:36:00.010-05:00

Ups, downs, all around. I am amazed at the phenomenal people in our lives. People who care, and support, and love. "What can we do?", they ask, over and over again. And I am super proud of our amazing children. Teenagers being teenagers can give any parent a run for their money, but We are truly blessed with loving kids who want the best for the family. Tough growing up.

My youngest, # 3 , is and always has been an above average student. He has always been one of the smartest in his school. And if absent, he doesn't miss a beat. Does 93-97% and 97-99% above the average student in the US in reading and math sound wonderful to a parents ears?

And #2, what a highly compassionate and sensitive individual. Her creative writing has been evident since she was a youngster. She marches to a different drummer, and is the easiest going when she has enough sleep. Her favorite hobby is probably reading as we always have to ask her to get some sleep, she will read all night long if she has her hands on a good book.As a youngster, you could take her house hunting all day long without a peep, her stamina is amazing. And as an infant, she slept through the night at 12 days old, I thought that I was in heaven:)

#1, is, well, #1. She is a true first born , 'take the responsibility upon her shoulders' gal, who is no nonsense, yet very forgiving. Her heart, like her siblings is filled with golden love and generosity. A constant giver and multi-tasker, she does the work of 10 or more. Like her Mom, art soothes her soul. And she loves antiquing, and is a great companion for doing things. She will keep going 'til the job gets done.

We are the average family, with our ups and downs, laughing, joking, fighting, apologizing, forgiving, then starting all over again. I feel so very sorry for those families who can not tolerate emotions. I want on my tombstone to be written, 'She wore her heart on her sleeve.....and that's a good place for it to be.' The latter part of the phrase is what my neighbor /best friend from my last house used to always tell me when I would say the first part. She is an amazing person, a double amputee from diabetes, in her 70's, and the most grateful individual you could ever find.

God has always placed the most amazing people in my life...in our lives. You know, I lost my father when I was 22, soon to be 23. I was devastated. He was my first Valentine. When he died, I wrote a poem, "to My First Valentine". The local paper published it . My Dad would always write letters to the editor, etc, to the paper. Around town, when people would hear that I was Nick's daughter, they would always know who he was and say something. If they liked what he wrote they would comment positively. If they were opposed, they would say, "Oh, so you are Nick's daughter", either way, they respected him...so many people knew him. When he died he was the President of the library board. I would come in to the library years after his passing, and they would check my books out, see the last name, and remember him with such kindness and admiration. I felt as if my father was continuing to give to me through others' kind words about him. It helped me through my loss.

When my very unique and loving Mom left us in '99 I was then officially an 'orphan'. I miss talking to my parents. In our family there was loving and laughing, and fighting and apologizing, and forgiving. It is the cycle of things.Our Russian/Byelo-Russian background is colorful. People are colorful. I have always had a happy childhood, and I always will. I know that with all we go through, our kids will do the same. My Dad would always be proud of when we stood together, even if it was against a parent. It showed him that we would always be there for one another. And we are. We are not perfect. Who is? We all all very opinionated. We all different, and yet we all hold good strong values, and want to do good in the world, and for the world.

I watch our children grow, weep, learn, laugh, fight, and forgive. They tell the truth, even if it is not something that we want to hear. They fight and scream, then laugh, hug, and kiss. They look after each other, and now I see them standing tall, being there for one another, even between the arguing. Two strong , good and stubborn parents make strong, good and stubborn kids.

It is a shame when someone not privy to closeness looks in and sees only the bad. My Mom always said to look for the good in others. I pray that our children will always look in and see the good. I pray they they will learn to be less or non-judgemental, continue to be forgiving, and compassionate to others. Just walk a mile in my shoes...that has come up a few times in our lives very recently. I pray that when our children encounter these people who think that they know better than the loving interior, that they will continue to forgive and go above such poorly directed souls.

So, he asked me this morning, "How are you getting me there?" So I told him. I told him again about the amazing support and love in our lives...the family, friends, and even acquaintances who have been touched by my husband, or a friendship from one of the rest of us, and be so very giving, kind, and generous in spirit , support, and love. Forgive me my blubbering and repetition. Is this not what God wants us to see in our everyday lives? With all the hecticness in our crazy worlds others have been inspired by the stories of those who are willing to go out of their way to help us. Wow.

To everything there is a reason under heaven. I have always looked for these reasons with events in my life that have occurred. It brings me peace in understanding in dealing with these hard times. It shows one who their friends truly are, and those who espouse friendship, yet understand not a thing about it. Ups , downs, all around, God give us all mercy,strength, and grace. Thank you for the people in our lives who help us through the tough times. May they always be in our lives, those who are emotionally involved, who support us, and bring out the best in us.

God Bless us all.

xo Lydia

What a Day....

2009-12-11T23:35:00.010-05:00

So, I got to the hospital yesterday and slept over night. Yesterday was another hectic day. Do I even remember it after today's blur of events. I cannot believe how my mind is clear and I am doing everything that I need to do. Is it overdrive, or am I more healed from the Lyme disease??? Guardian angels are certainly with us, and I strongly feel that Ken is meant to do more here, even though we know not for how long.

So this new room, as I stated, is like a hotel room. What a difference these little amenities make.

Yesterday, I walked into the room , went for my notebooks, and Ken asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was getting Michael's number to call him. He asked me why. I said that I was going to ask him for help. It was as if we were talking in our house. He is now conversing with us, asking us questions, offering up statements, responding to the medical staff. His sister came in, saw this, hadn't seen him in a day, and was bowled over. And he was tired, but was up for 4-5 hours early evening continuously interacting, w/a couple of tiny snores in between. Wow.

But, last night I slept at the hospital again, and he kept me up til well after 4:00 am. Nothing I said convinced him. He moved , and squirmed, and moved, and contorted his body to slink as far low on his bed as possible to try to reach the catheter, poor baby. He even said at one point,"Aw, come on!" I laughed. Kept reaching for his hand to try and let him know that we had to sleep. He finally fell asleep, exhausted after about 4 1/2 hours of this squirming, and multiple nurses and aides coming in to redo his restraints . If he didn't have the restraints, he would yank out his feeding and catheter tubes. This would be painful, and would set him back...

I worked so hard last night. Ken is the consummate athlete and is very adept. Unbelievable. Well, I tried to sleep through a few awakenings and 'tending- tos' from the staff. It was a couch that turns into a bed. Not great cushioning, but far better from a semi-recliner in a cramped room with more monitoring.

This morning, was an abrupt awakening. Didn't get a chance to do my morning count back and prayers. His internal medicine doctor came, and suddenly the man was extremely abrupt, curt, and very non-informative. I walked away to the family room, very upset. I cried. What had I done to receive this reaction? Discrepant information from Ken's oncologist last night and this doctor- who, til this am was quite kind and easy going. Calmed myself down, talked to others to create liaison people as I do not want to get upset about this lack of communication. This is the doctor who went out of his way to make things easier for us by bringing us to the Cancer Unit for a calm room. ?????

I asked myself,"Who is putting pressure on this man?". Of course, I did not appreciate being the brunt of his frustration. Later found out that he was under pressure, meaning, from someone in the hospital. Maybe even for getting us into this unit. And, I think that 2 weeks is the hospital's initial payment period from insurance. Suddenly I was feeling great pressure to move Ken, as he is doing better. Of course, I have been asking about how to transfer him since ER! Anywho, not to go into so much detail about all of this, but things started to move.

The plan is to try and get him into the top Rehab. hospital on the East Coast.Hoping that he gets accepted, and that insurance allows this.We would at least like for these experts to see him. We know that this may not work out.So many little details. Met the social worker for the cancer unit who in a very short period of time did so much. Another head nurse suddenly started to get involved. Did I mention that the VP of nursing is the daughter of my Mother-in-law's friend? No, I did not ask to speak to anyone. Just asked what her last name was, as I had forgotten it.The connection was made in a very innocent question. Amazing. Don't care. Just wanted to move on to do the best for my hubby and family. After all, our situation has changed drastically in an instant. Asked for a patient advocate after the am doctor mis-communication. A doctor who cannot answer simple questions as to tests being performed makes the whole process harder. We surely understand the gravity of his situation, although some may not think so.

A lot of confusion about the barium swallowing test.... but, today Ken finally had it. Yesterday his oncologist told me that he had failed it. I was totally confused, as he hadn't been taken yesterday to have it! When I asked his in house doctor about it, the information received was less than concise, and absolutely did not jive with what the oncologist said . Lack of communication wrapped up in this matter...not answering questions, being cut off when asking my question...total confusion .

KEN had andPASSED THE BARIUM SWALLOWING TEST today!!! This evening, a tray of food came in for him! Yoo Hoo! He tried tiny tastes of 'corn on the cob' , gravy, a thickened soup, ice cream, and ice tea. Don't get so impressed, it all equaled less than a teaspoon. He had some applesauce and ice cream for a speech therapist test 2 days ago. Before that, Thanksgiving was the last time that he ate any form of food other than the nutritional drip. ( He threw up 3 times on T-day).

Well, his creatinin level has based out at a reasonable number, his chest has been clear. A little congestion here and there, but lastly, it was clear. The Vena Cava Filter is in place helping to prevent most or all possible pcs. of blood clot that may have been missed, or that may occur, for the lower part of the body. They removed him from one of the anti-seizure meds, which they feel caused his platelets, or mostly caused his platelets to continue to lower, and I was finally allowed to start giving him his Protocel- powerful antioxidant nutritional supplement that he takes. They will not use the feeding tube for this, but at least I can administer it.This is what he would want.

There was talk of a PEG- feeding tube into the stomach. The Dr. who does this procedure said that because his platelets were down, she did not recommend it at this time. This can change, and may have to in order to transport to a rehab hospital or facility.

I do not want him to see his current oncologist again. He was not even willing to look into rehab places closer to home for me. Told me to ask the local radiologist. Do you think that I have enough to do?...and my kids....???the home, work, the economy, endless paperwork.... I would think that after a couple of years of being his doctor, that he could ask one of the gals at the front desk to do this- even if just to humor me- as he is not very supportive in general. Another doctor/personal friend of 20 years himself offered on his own, but we are putting that on hold to try and get him into the best rehab place here , where this friend is affiliated.

Prayers for the transitioning and insurance to go smoothly, transportation to be paid, etc, would be greatly appreciated. Things , as of this evening, seemed to have 'smoothened out' quite a bit, with tunes changing.I hope that this trend continues. There are so many amazing people here, who are quite compassionate and helpful. I am amazed at how unbelievable most of the staff have been. And I am extremely thankful for this.

And, the support, love , prayers, aid from friends , co-workers, family , is simply mind boggling.
My husband is being thought about, prayed for, visualized... by hundreds and hundreds of people. How lucky is anyone to have so many people in their lives at all- let alone so many to cheer him and us on???

There have emerged some amazing individuals throughout all of this . More on these fabulous people later...And of course support from close family and friends to us all. Jean, I know that you understand all of this. The wheels are turning constantly. I am so very, truly humbled. Is this not what life is about? I really like his neurologist. A lot. A sane, informative, helpful, hopeful, concise w/information doctor. I have liked him from the beginning in ER. If I didn't have him, I don't know if I would be dealing with this all so well.

Good nite, and God Bless. xo Just, Wow.

Another Move...

2009-12-09T23:02:00.004-05:00

So, he no longer needs a monitored bed, so they moved him to another room. They were able to get him a room in the cancer center at the hospital, which is like a 5 star facility. It is like a hotel room. They even have a menu ,w/ of course, room service. It is large , w/ a couch that opens up to be a bed, a frig, a large bathroom with nice shower, nice armoire holding the tv, desk, ...and more.

The neurologist was happy that he was progressing. He would like things a little faster, but his bottom line is that he is progressing.The internal medicine doctor recommended the cancer unit, as he can rest well there.I had told him that I did not want the negative energy from the few nurses who seem to think that he cannot hear them, or who just want to depress him.

When he got there he said rather forlornly, "well, I guess the situation has changed". I think that he meant it in a serious tone, as if it was for the worst. But, of course, he is progressing daily. I am not sure if he believes me. Of course it is all serious, but why would I depress him- how does one heal, w/depression, or with hope?

Although another nurse asked me if I realized how serious it is. Duh! He is not on life support. And even when he was, he was breathing w/the machine. It was not done as an emergency, it was done to let him rest so that the seizures would stop, which they did. And the gal was very sweet, but why do they think that this is good for the patient who has enough depression to deal with over such a situation?

To me, it is a no- brainer. If this is the card that is dealt, we must deal w/it. So, to create the best case scenario, God willing, we must create the most hopeful, positive surroundings. Duh! That is what I would want to try to heal. If his time comes, I want it to be loving and full of hope and caring, not worry over the mountain of what he has gone through. He was tired today, but talking and awake for a very long period this evening, and at various times of the day.

His big uncomfortable issue is the awful rash that has developed on his bottom. The tube feeding and anti-biotics, and a reaction to a type of pad they used before they just went to cotton, creates a very loose situation down there. My heart so goes out to him,poor baby. I have helped them quite a few times. It is even difficult for the nurses and aides, as they feel for him. But, I think that they are scared to hurt him, and might not be as thorough as is necessary to rectify the situation. I have 3 children, after all, and once a mother always a mother. My mothering instincts want them to be gentle, yet thorough. Seems like he may have a fungal reaction, poor baby.

As soon as he swallows quite readily, food such as applesauce and ice cream, and consisitantly, then they can remove the feeding tube, and his bottom situation will heal. I am so worried for anything opening up from the rash and causing infection. He might need a stomach tube. And to transport him, he has to be eating, or have the stomach tube, or that tube and eating together. They will not transport with the nasal feeding tube.

So tomorrow they will try to test his swallowing w/a test(forgot the name). It will take a half hour. He must respond quickly and consistently, for them to remove the tube soon.

He LOVES talking to his children by phone, and Alex seems to elicit great talking in him. He wants them to see him 'doing well', this I can see. He talks a lot, and trys very hard to be'together'. Ingeneral, I think he is trying to 'act together' for us. ..trying to look as if he is dealing with it. He does get emotional when he hears more of what is happening, as he may forget some aspects here and there. I slept in the room last night, and basically did not sleep much at all, so tonite I came home, and will go back early, as I do not want him to feel as if he has been abandoned. But, I so need a good sleep.

So much has happened, yet it is late and I need to sleep. EEG was good. MRI showed the extent of the stroke. But , he is beating so many odds. My great Aunt Betty called me today. She is an amzing 95 year old/young???:):):):) She said, "Never, never,never give up, Lydia". I am in agreement. And in our family we have had quite a few miracles. So , having the choice between hope and despair, I'll take hope any day. And, we'll cross bridges when we come to them. I have to go by my instincts and family's input, not by others' who don't know him from a hole in the world.

Alright, goodnite.

If anyone knows of any legitimate organizations who can help with medical situations, I would greatly appreciate it.

ps- vivian, one of the very nice nurse's aides today reminded me of you with your hair color and pretty face:) I was amazed at how her hair and makeup looked so good so very early in the am. Can you tell that I am a late night person? hahaha

EEG , Brain MRI, and a Shave

2009-12-07T22:28:00.005-05:00

Ken with Lara, at his surprise 55thKen and his family- His Mom is in turquoise on the right- Happy Birthday today to Mom/Gma

Ken w/Alex at the club
That's what he had done today. Still don't know the results of the tests. And the two times I called him up to check in on him he was sleeping. Had to run around today taking care of banking and such.His neurologist said there was not much progress since Fri.. That's when I told him about yesterday and this am. Then he ordered the MRI. Hopefully all will still be clear, and it may help them assess the stroke better.

One of his nurses this am said that he was awake, lucid, interacted & cooperated well. She was awfully nice. Some nurses just have a way. I told her that he already had some miracles, and she told me that hopefully he would have another one today. I like her attitude.

So he was very tired from all the activity today. He woke back up this evening . He was happy and smiling when # 1 called him.
Brain patients need much rest. I pray that he continues to interact and respond to the medical staff so that they can talk therapy and we can bring him home. He is just not ready to be w/us yet. He is still so very weak.

To all my family and close friends,near and far, thinking of you and your texts, calls,comments, and emails, etc..You all know who you are. You keep us supported and w/ warm felt good tears in our eyes and plenty of love in our heart.And even if we don't all connect, I know you are all there and it makes us feel so good. We love you so much.Thank you.

And to my fellow blogger friends- wow- you lift me up. Amazing that people who have never met can hold so many warm thoughts and prayers in their hearts for those who they have much in common with in the art realm...or just the world 'realm' . Your comments and emails blow me away as well. Thank you.

I got a lot done today. Tomorrow will be long and busy as well. Love to you all. If I am not able to respond back right now, please know that I want to, and hopefully you will keep updated w/the blog 'til we can catch up some more.

PS- I totally forgot to tell you all about something. So, those who know Ken well, know that his all time most favorite artist since he was a teenager is Leo Kotke. He plays mostly acoustic guitars( goes between reg. and 12 string, and probably something else). He is in his own category music wise. He's not rock, or country, or jazz- a type of folk guitarist, with much else that is hard to explain, and not really a folk guitarist.

So, while in ICU I thought to start humming my favorite song that Leo sings, Little Martha. It is on my playlist. It is uplifting and positive.Then I asked to play it from my blog, which they allowed, but while I was about to access it, #1 stated that she had Leo on her playlist- and lots of him. But, when she had to take her laptop, I got the idea to pick up a little cd player that I could play his cds on w/ some sort of speaker.

While mentioning all this to one of his lifelong friends, Ardie, who is a professional techie, and has been since forever, Ardie stated that he wanted to send one. So, instead of the little Walmart one I was going to look for he sent a very nice 'little' boombox, and 3 Leo cds! So, Ken listens to Leo all day long, practically, in his room. We may be a bit Leo-ed out once in a while, but Ken loves it. He has verified this multiple times. And he also has agreed to go to a Leo concert w/the 'kids'. #s 2 & 3 have never been to a Leo concert. I want to give him things to look forward to.

Every once in a while, Ken invites some friends, and we go to a Leo Kotke concert. He usually plays in fairly intimate venues. He is a fabulous performer, and if you are spatial , just the least, or enjoy very funny banter tangled in a web of intricacy, all while entertaining the heck out of you, then I highly recommend seeing him in concert. Ken has met him for autographs more than a few times, and is his biggest fan, without being weird or anything.

So, Leo, if you ever get wind of this, he sure would love to hear from you. haha:) You might just help to save his life.

Goodnite,

Ken Update

2009-12-06T23:33:00.004-05:00

(1983)click on photo to enlarge

So much to say, but it is late and I am tired. We, Ken's family, see improvement every day, but he is not responding consistently to the medical staff.

Early this am he yanked out his nasal feeding tube in his sleep. His hands have to be tied down . When I left him last night, I told them that I was leaving and that this had to be done. I told the head nurse. It did not get done. I am upset. The head nurse said that our nurse determined that he didn't need it.This is BS- because they are the ones who have always told us that the patients do this often in their sleep, and that is why they do it..... I told them it had to be done. I think that the head nurse screwed up and blamed it on his regular nurse.

Then, the nurse who was his nurse when he came to the new room (he left ICU yesterday), when I went to meet her last night and to tell her that he gets cold, and that his right side hurts from the cancer when he is on that side, started asking me questions about resuscitation, etc. That's fine. But , when I told her my answer she started to push her opinions on us regarding his chances with his cancer and all. The nurse! When I went home, I was upset. Today she was his nurse again, and she started again. I clearly told her that the family supported him and his abilities. We want to give him a chance. She doesn't even know him.

Last night Lara spent the night w/him. She told me that his nurse this am was yelling at him. It was that same nurse. Then , she continued to push her opinions upon my hubby's Mom and sisters, talking about how serious his situation is and ALL the things he has against him, IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!!- and not in the same way that the ICU nurses spoke with him.

There is no one who knows better the possibilities of my husband's circumstances. And before his brain surgery 3 yrs. ago we talked about all of this. It was uncomfortable, but we did it. He would not want to be a vegetable for life, but he would like to have a chance. And I must use my instincts. At this point, I would like for him to visualize the healing and to be hopeful. There are many miracles that have already occurred. And I will be darned if I will not give him a chance.

I will call some people at the hospital tomorrow to discuss these things. The neurologist stated, that as long as he progresses, even if slowly, this is what we must look for. With his brain radiation it just may take a little longer. I will ask that this nurse not work with my husband.

My husband hears all. He has conversations with us. He wanted to go to the bathroom last night and said so, w/a 4 word complete sentence. He started to put his leg off the bed. My daughter told him not to.

I pray that God will lead the way, and will not let him suffer needlessly. In our family, we like to prove doctors wrong, and we do. We have done it for serious conditions. I pray that this will be one of those times. I cannot do anything less than to give my husband his hope and a fighting chance.He is an athlete, and a very good one.

Keep your eye on the ball Ken.