Hubby had his Dr's appointment today. The lung cancer (Stage IV since diagnosis in 2006)), has progressed a little into the pancreas, and into some other areas. Also, the areas affected have increased. Some have stayed stationary. Some areas are still not affected.
He will start chemo again next week. Then he is off for 2 weeks. If he feels less pain, he may just continue with the Protocel, and no more chemo. Or he may take 1 or 2 more treatments. Either way, he will continue with the Protocel, as it has been helping.
So, the pancreas is not a good area. But, I'll be damned if I give up hope for someone who I love. With God all things are possible. I just hope that emotionally he can make it through, because that will dictate a lot of the physical.
I want to crawl into a ball and cry, out of fear. Will I have my hubby? Will I hold onto the house if he doesn't make it? Will I be able to care for my family? I know that he is scared. Who wouldn't be?
It's bad enough going through all of this, but to have so many other things on the plate just make all so much harder . Why can't I just cry, and be by myself, and do artwork, and try to muddle through and heal?The situation does not allow this.
But I have to put on my big girl panties. I just hope they work. No time for tears.
