KpacoTa CnaceT Mup-Beauty Will Save the World

(Quote from Fyodor M. Dostoyevsky's THE IDIOT, 1869)

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

going to the Doctor's to find out about Monday's scans results

I'm weepy. I'm coming out of a fun head cold, and I'm weepy. Ken got scanned on Monday. Showering, packing up a gift, post office, and go to the chiropractor's. Haven't been in ages, and I need it with this cold to heal quicker.

Then it's 10 minutes to Dr. S's office for a 1:30 appointment.

He found another lump on his lymph node. I felt it. I asked him when he found it. He said, "Oh, a couple of months ago." " !!@@##!!!Why didn't you tell me!!!???!!!" "Did you tell the doctor?" "What is he going to do?" "!!@@"???!!!!You're crazy!!!!!"

Maybe it's the cancer coming out of him. Maybe it's an infection that needs anti-biotics. He tested positive for Lyme, but inactive. I pray that it is something simple.

He took his glass that had his night time Protocel in it , downstairs to the sink. "Oh crap," I said. He usually forgets it, and I say "Oh crap." I'm thrilled when he remembers. Today I said "Oh crap." I don't want anything staying in my mind that alters my faith. I'm vulnerable now. I'm under the weather, the chores are piling up, nobody cares except me. The world is crappy, and I'm questioning everything with,"Is it worthwhile?"OK I'm bummed, but I'm coming out of the pity party.

I feel like everything's just mounting. I know it's because of the way I feel physically. And I want this Lyme to be over with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My glands have been feeling yucky with this head cold.

So, the tears fall to my lap. I love him so, and want him back and healed. I don't know what I'd do without him. Please Lord, grant complete recovery, complete health to my husband. xo

Prayers and warm wishes accepted.


Tumbleweed Trails said...

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.

Jenny said...

Lydia, I hope that the results were good. Please know that you both are supported with prayers many times over. xo

Laurie said...

Please let us know what happens. You're in my prayers!