"How are you getting me there?"...and meanderings of my mind...

Ups, downs, all around. I am amazed at the phenomenal people in our lives. People who care, and support, and love. "What can we do?", they ask, over and over again. And I am super proud of our amazing children. Teenagers being teenagers can give any parent a run for their money, but We are truly blessed with loving kids who want the best for the family. Tough growing up.

My youngest, # 3 , is and always has been an above average student. He has always been one of the smartest in his school. And if absent, he doesn't miss a beat. Does 93-97% and 97-99% above the average student in the US in reading and math sound wonderful to a parents ears?

And #2, what a highly compassionate and sensitive individual. Her creative writing has been evident since she was a youngster. She marches to a different drummer, and is the easiest going when she has enough sleep. Her favorite hobby is probably reading as we always have to ask her to get some sleep, she will read all night long if she has her hands on a good book.As a youngster, you could take her house hunting all day long without a peep, her stamina is amazing. And as an infant, she slept through the night at 12 days old, I thought that I was in heaven:)

#1, is, well, #1. She is a true first born , 'take the responsibility upon her shoulders' gal, who is no nonsense, yet very forgiving. Her heart, like her siblings is filled with golden love and generosity. A constant giver and multi-tasker, she does the work of 10 or more. Like her Mom, art soothes her soul. And she loves antiquing, and is a great companion for doing things. She will keep going 'til the job gets done.

We are the average family, with our ups and downs, laughing, joking, fighting, apologizing, forgiving, then starting all over again. I feel so very sorry for those families who can not tolerate emotions. I want on my tombstone to be written, 'She wore her heart on her sleeve.....and that's a good place for it to be.' The latter part of the phrase is what my neighbor /best friend from my last house used to always tell me when I would say the first part. She is an amazing person, a double amputee from diabetes, in her 70's, and the most grateful individual you could ever find.

God has always placed the most amazing people in my life...in our lives. You know, I lost my father when I was 22, soon to be 23. I was devastated. He was my first Valentine. When he died, I wrote a poem, "to My First Valentine". The local paper published it . My Dad would always write letters to the editor, etc, to the paper. Around town, when people would hear that I was Nick's daughter, they would always know who he was and say something. If they liked what he wrote they would comment positively. If they were opposed, they would say, "Oh, so you are Nick's daughter", either way, they respected him...so many people knew him. When he died he was the President of the library board. I would come in to the library years after his passing, and they would check my books out, see the last name, and remember him with such kindness and admiration. I felt as if my father was continuing to give to me through others' kind words about him. It helped me through my loss.

When my very unique and loving Mom left us in '99 I was then officially an 'orphan'. I miss talking to my parents. In our family there was loving and laughing, and fighting and apologizing, and forgiving. It is the cycle of things.Our Russian/Byelo-Russian background is colorful. People are colorful. I have always had a happy childhood, and I always will. I know that with all we go through, our kids will do the same. My Dad would always be proud of when we stood together, even if it was against a parent. It showed him that we would always be there for one another. And we are. We are not perfect. Who is? We all all very opinionated. We all different, and yet we all hold good strong values, and want to do good in the world, and for the world.

I watch our children grow, weep, learn, laugh, fight, and forgive. They tell the truth, even if it is not something that we want to hear. They fight and scream, then laugh, hug, and kiss. They look after each other, and now I see them standing tall, being there for one another, even between the arguing. Two strong , good and stubborn parents make strong, good and stubborn kids.

It is a shame when someone not privy to closeness looks in and sees only the bad. My Mom always said to look for the good in others. I pray that our children will always look in and see the good. I pray they they will learn to be less or non-judgemental, continue to be forgiving, and compassionate to others. Just walk a mile in my shoes...that has come up a few times in our lives very recently. I pray that when our children encounter these people who think that they know better than the loving interior, that they will continue to forgive and go above such poorly directed souls.

So, he asked me this morning, "How are you getting me there?" So I told him. I told him again about the amazing support and love in our lives...the family, friends, and even acquaintances who have been touched by my husband, or a friendship from one of the rest of us, and be so very giving, kind, and generous in spirit , support, and love. Forgive me my blubbering and repetition. Is this not what God wants us to see in our everyday lives? With all the hecticness in our crazy worlds others have been inspired by the stories of those who are willing to go out of their way to help us. Wow.

To everything there is a reason under heaven. I have always looked for these reasons with events in my life that have occurred. It brings me peace in understanding in dealing with these hard times. It shows one who their friends truly are, and those who espouse friendship, yet understand not a thing about it. Ups , downs, all around, God give us all mercy,strength, and grace. Thank you for the people in our lives who help us through the tough times. May they always be in our lives, those who are emotionally involved, who support us, and bring out the best in us.

God Bless us all.

xo Lydia